This is my peak I will never come up with a better pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamza91001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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What could be a better pun? Good post u/TwoCrossbows on r/memes.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hxsfox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I challenge you to think of a better pun for this photo i.reddituploads.com/e0f56…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/115_zombie_slayer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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I Gouda found a better pun, but I Havarti posted this one. imgur.com/tZHO3Ka
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffiluacmetak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Better call the plumber
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Better treat it gingerly!
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What’s better than a Dad bod?

A father figure.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Making stale bread taste better is easy

Piece of toast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My wife told me, "You're a better husband than I'll ever be."

I responded, "Who the hell is Oliver B.??"

πŸ‘︎ 869
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeinator21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I placed a pushpin at a corner, and my life started getting so much better!

I guess that was a real turning point for me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pipessqueak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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The next year won't be any better

because twenty twenty won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rakeboiii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Why is booze better than carrots?

Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.

It's called, "Prose and Cons".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What make of vehicles is no better than a child’s plaything?

Toy-Yoda

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My chemistry professor once said, "I teach better when I'm drinking!"

(That was an Alkali.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My girlfriend said that quilts are better than duvets..

I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AhSparaGus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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My wife is really upset that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Irish I had better jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtflagnard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Keeps getting better as you read
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ray3x10e8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Our cow just gave birth and she's been sleeping better...

now that she's de-calf-einated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What do you call a pasta that's not too bad but could be better if it was cooked a little longer?

purgatoni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tylerfulltilt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.

I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jHugley328
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..

..it came with no attachments.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What is a thousand times better than instagram?

Instakilogram

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/binayakhero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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We will, we will rock you!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wanjirahope
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What did Poseidon say to his brother?

Jesus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodkafountain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Is your computer running? Then you'd better catch it!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Classic_Result
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wB68
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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People just liked it better that way
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs1104666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Better not buy pre-shredded cheese

Because doing it yourself is grate

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Better bee nice to her
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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read β€œtwix” in a child accent it makes the meme better
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Why is shredding cheese better than sliced cheese?

Because it went through a cheese greater!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legoless0234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

Your golden skin. The way you smelled like heaven. The way you felt in my hands. The way the sun glistened on you. How everyone loved you. You were never expensive on a date. You looked good with anything on. I will miss you pizza slice that fell into the sand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Thought this would fit better here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What’s better than a dad bod?

A father figure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuckleberry__Finn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My wife said I need to get a better truck...

Dually noted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Halo4me42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My dad always use to say β€˜Two heads are better than one.'

A wonderful father.

Terrible surgeon.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What's a thousand times better than Instagram?

Instakilogram.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MolecularPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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I used a dad joke from here on my dad and he already knew it. I asked him how and he said...

"I Reddit."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbdiggs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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