Benighted Puns

The most recent round of these on this sub seemed popular and inspired me to concoct more! Add yours to the mix.

“The barrier between our yards was half-fallen-down already; don’t be mad because I finished tearing it down,” said Tom defensively.

“I hope my three friends and I won’t meet up with any sharks,” said Tom with foreboding.

“We make a better pair of Wet Bandits after replacing Harry,” said Marv and Tom synchronously.

“I I too too have have a a gift gift for for the the baby baby Jesus Jesus,” Tom murmured.

“A-B-R-A-C-A-D-A-B-R-A,” Tom spelled.

“Stop killing me the instant I come back to life,” Tom responded.

“It was I who smeared yolk on Mr. Philbin’s face,” said Tom egregiously.

“Dr. Jones’ archaeological improprieties are an embarrassment to academia; I may need to fire him,” said Tom indeterminately.

“You’re a much better lover than your sister Elsa,” said Tom animatedly.

“I hade it when I hab a code,” said Tom toxically

“CHIRRRRP-CHIRRRR-CHIRRRRP-CHIRRRR,” said Tom intoxicatedly.

“I only like to eat the drumsticks,” said Tom knowingly.

“Hooray, I get to read Ulysses again,” said Tom rejoicing.

“I love camping trips,” said Tom intensely.

“You kids like it when we put these Chinese bears in a circle, right?” said Tom panderingly.

“My name is Tom, he/him,” Tom pronounced.

“Denmark is full of jerks,” said Tom disdainfully.

“Air traffic control is a big responsibility,” Tom complained.

“Should I recapture the slaves I freed?”Tom deliberated.

“Stop kicking me in the nuts,” said Tom testily.

“Doctor, when I take a leak, it shouldn’t look black, should it?” said Tom inquisitively.

“Living in California is a dream come true,” said Tom, in a state of dementia.

“I’ll deal with that rabid mutt,” said Tom courageously.

“I don’t know why the king tapped my shoulder with a sword,” said Tom benightedly.

“How about we move the stage weaponry over here,” Tom propositioned.

“If you want any of these trout I caught, you must pay for them,” said Tom selfishly.