Beggar's chicken Puns

Title pretty much says it all. As I was walking into the convenience store I saw a homeless man standing asking for money. I walked inside bought what I needed and also decided to buy him a granola bar since I never carry cash on me and I wanted to help him out. As I leave the store I go to hand him the bar and he looks me dead in the eyes and says “nah, I’m tryna get some money for a Popeyes chicken sandwich”. I was dumbfounded but hey, I guess beggars really can be choosers.

I don't know if this has been done already, but I have the memory of a goldfish, so I instantly forget the required food souls once I flip out of the page.

To help myself, I made a list of the food souls required for the event, their favourite foods, and where the recipes come from.

Google Doc link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1atLOxSmbSWj5Tw9XeC7atdI3bgho5KTvDwS44sgrfCE/edit?usp=sharing

Rip anyone (me) who didn't start out with Gloriville recipes and/or couldn't get Tortoise or Fish in the events.

Edit: Oh and if you repost this somewhere else, please credit me (u/Positivsarcasm) thx :))

So I'd like to start off this story by stating that the main focus of this story, EF [Entitled friend], is one of my very good friends and she's working every day to change how she behaves. I love her very much but I tell this story because I love poking fun at her when I get the chance.

So I used to be on the swim team at my school, but I had to do service hours every week for a project that interfered with the swim schedule. Being that I am one of the few people on the swim team who drives, I would get requests for rides a lot.

One day, after I was done with my service hours, three of my friends needed rides back to school, so I got dinner and waited in front of the building for them to finish. I should mention that my family lives far away (45 minutes) from the school, so dinner tends to be fast food whenever I had after school activities. That day I had gotten ten chicken nuggets, a large fry, and two chocolate chip cookies.

By the time they were done, I had finished the fries off. As a general rule in my car, there's an order of who gets the front seat. The first friend, let's call her Moana, always gets front seat if she's in my car. She drove with me to practice every day and was the only person who was in my car almost as much as I was. So she got to my car first and hopped in, my second friend, we'll call him Nelson, was second to my car and got in the back.

We waited an extra five minutes after that for EF to finally get out to my car, not that I really minded waiting since we had plenty of time. She got in the back and immediately started complaining that Moana got the front seat. She's older than Moana by a few years and reasoned that that's why she should have front seat (even though Nelson was actually older than all of us). I told her that's just how it was and she hadn't even gotten to the car first, we all had to wait for her.

She just huffed and said she was hungry. So me, being the people pleaser I am, offered a chicken nugget. A chicken nugget. As in one. She and Nelson both said yes, and I handed the bag back to them, and went to start driving back to the school. After only two minutes, Moana asks for one and they hand a single nugget up to her, and give me the box.

It was empty.

I was furious. Moana split her nugget in half and gave it to me, so we both got half a nugget. I was so angry, the second we hit a red light I looked in the mirror and demanded to know why they ate all my nuggets. Nelson looked sheepish and didn't

Because it says "Buck buck buck buck buck!"

I just recently discovered r/VoiceyHere on Youtube, and decided to write down an experience of my own. Sadly, this was not a simple stranger that came, bothered me for a bit, and went, this was a person who was a friend of mine since Kindergarten all the way to high school. I'll refer to her as BF (Beggar Friend) for this story. She was more or less a toxic friend, and she had done a lot of things that warrants a story on here. But I'll just cover one of the few things she had done that stuck out in my mind. She also has a mother who acts like an entitled parent, but that's a story for another time.

A little bit of information about me that may or may not be important to know why I stayed with a toxic friend for so long. I am a Christian, I grew up with a conservative Christian household. I'm a very nice person, though I'm also pretty much a doormat. I have anxiety due to my dad and mom's way of teaching, due to my anxiety, I tend to come off as shy around people, and because of this, I had trouble making friends at school.

I used to go to a private Christian school where you had to pay money for your food. You could bring your own food, but I prefer to buy their chicken biscuits as they are delicious to me. My mother usually gave me enough to buy two chicken biscuits to eat, however, BF would always sit beside me and then ask me for a small piece of chicken. BF and her mother are on hard times, so I can understand not always having enough money to pay for food. I was always generous to BF, but maybe I was too generous.

I would give BF pieces of my chicken, though she didn't care about the biscuit parts, because she could usually afford regular biscuits. The chicken was the best part of the chicken biscuits for me, so I didn't like having to tear off pieces of it just to give them to BF.

But whenever I was reluctant to give anymore pieces of my chicken to BF, she would say things like, "Oh, but that's not fair. You get two whole pieces of chicken, while I just get the scraps." "Why are you being so selfish? You just gave me small pieces." "You know, God wouldn't be happy with those who don't share food with the hungry."

Due to being in a Christian school, I was a Christian myself. So if a supposedly fellow Christian told me God would be angry with me for not doing something, I would start to have a small, inner panic attack. I've had anxiety problems for as long as I could remember, so that certainly didn't help. So I usually ended up givin

So I just heard of this chinese dish called 'Beggar's Chicken' where the oven bake a whole chicken inside some clay.

I actually wanted to taste this dish myself and I wanto to know from you redditors if you had tasted Beggars Chicken somewhere here in Manila.

The rules are simple, from the spoiler tagged options in every set, pick ONLY ONE and see where your story gets you, also YOU ARE NOT A DRAGONBORN unless stated otherwise, now GO. Also, sorry about all the butchered names in this

You begin your story as a:

>!Bosmer...!<

>!Imperial...!<

>!Redguard!<

>!Argonian...!<

>!Dunmer....!<

>!Altmer......!<

>!Dragonborn!<

>!Nord........!<

>!Breton....!<

>!Khajit.....!<

Your goal in life is to become:

>!The High King!<

>!Emperor of Tamriel!<

>!Master of Thieves!<

>!Greatest Mage!<

>!The greatest assassin!<

>!A daedric prince!<

>!A divine.............!<

>!A hopeless beggar!<

>!Greatest Warrior!<

To achieve it, you team up with your greatest friend in your story, this is:

>!Cicero!<

>!Nazeem!<

>!Farkas!<

>!Ulfric!<

>!Sheogorath!<

>!Tullius!<

>!Jazargo!<

>!Lydia!<

>!Aela!<

>!Sanguine!<

>!Delphine!<

>!Paarthunax!<

>!Ancano!<

In your adventures to achieve your goal, you charm a certain someone who takes a romantic interest in you, this is:

>!Legate Rikke!<

>!Neloth!<

>!Baalgruf!<

>!Alduin!<

>!Nocturnal!<

>!Serana!<

>!Hermaeus Mora!<

>!Faralda!<

>!Mjoll!<

>!Sheogorath!<

>!Saphire!<

>!Vex!<

However, your notoriety also brings the attention of a new nemesis that wishes to kill you, this is:

>!Braith!<

>!Morokei!<

>!Miraak!<

>!Riverwood Chicken!<

>!Aventus Aretino!<

>!Meridia!<

>!Molag Bal!<

>!Harkon!<

>!Savos Aren!<

>!Mercer!<

>!Ralof!<

>!Hadvar!<

Your final battle takes place at the top of the Throat of the world, in wich you display your great power of:

>!Thuum!<

>!Knife Throwing!<

>!Reloading saves!<

>!Elder Scroll!<

>!Conjuration Magic!<

>!Console Commands!<

>!Weapon Dual-Wielding!<

>!Bow Mastery!<

>!Destruction Magic!<

>!Reverse pickpocket!<

>!Vampire Lord!<

>!Illusion Magic!<

>!Werewolf beast form!<

At the end of this legendary battle, this is how your story ends:

>!Perish from cheese overdose in your basement!<

>!Retire and live quietly with your

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

TLDR; Fiancé and I can't get along anymore. When we fight our plans get ruined because he won't be around me after an argument. Every time we disgaree/argue he puts blame on me initially and is never wrong for anything, even issues he causes. The lows are so low, but when we're on good terms our relationship is everything I want.

My (24f) fiance (28m) and I have been together for around 3 years. We moved in together this past August and he proposed shortly after. We are best friends. We do everything together but have the perfect amount of time for our own life/hobbies.

When we first moved in together, it was perfect. Sleeping with each other and getting into our routine of watching shows and cuddling every night became our new favorite thing and life was just... good.

Lately, everything seems to be an argument. One issue I've had with him is that he constantly feels the need to give an unwarranted opinion, and then when I tell him I didn't ask or appreciate it, he gets mad at me and says he just won't speak. His opinion can be rude and blunt, and then he makes me the one with the issue for not liking it. Arguments over this used to just blow over, but now it goes on and on until I break the ice and come to him to make things better. If I don't, he won't speak to me for days/act like I don't exist until finally he texts me out of the blue and will say "you really don't have anything to say about how you acted?" I almost feel like he is punishing me.

This past weekend, for example, our friends were having a halloween party. Earlier in the week he said he didn't want to go because we both needed a night to relax so we decided we'd just go to dinner. I wanted to go, but was also content with relaxing and doing a date night. Well, the day of the party comes and around noon he tells me he'd like to go and asked if I wanted to. I said sure and went and got last minute costumes for us since he had to work all day and I had the most time to go get them. I ended up spending around $60 for both of our things.

As soon as I get home I shower and start getting ready. I took about 1.5 hours to do my hair and about an hour to do my make up. Halloween is my FAVORITE time of year so when I do costumes I love to get ready and have fun with it.

I am great at make up and it has been one of my biggest hobbies for years now. I work so much and we don't go do much anymore because of how busy we are, so I was excited to have a reason to get ready and look pretty.

Well, I

Pilot on me!!

I didn't think I would ever have to ask for help with the pets again. I thought we would be okay. I didn't count on all of us getting sick for a month, my husband being laid off again, unemployment still not paying a dime, etc...I dont want to give my sad story, its been sad and hard for so many of us. We are trying to survive, like so many. We have had to reach out for Christmas help yesterday, or there wouldn't have been one. Pride doesnt seem to be fixing anything.

This cat, Cas, and dog, Adam/Atom (depending upon the kid) have been helped here before. I have also gifted back. I dont know that that matters and I feel weird saying it. But, we need help again. I know I wait too long. I always think we will figure something out. Cas has through today. Adam has two to three days of food. Both eat dry food. Cas eats Blue Buffalo Chicken and Adam eats Purina Beneful.

I appreciate anything, anyone, can do. As always, I promise to pay it back to the sub the second we are able to do so.

Give me a second and Ill post back with some new pictures. Thank you for your consideration.

Edit Cas and Adam

Food list Fwiw, I am broken to have to ask for help again this year. Asking for Christmas for Scarletmagnolia’s youngest son, was the only reason he is having Christmas. But, I am very, very thankful, too. I am sorry life didn’t turn around as quickly as I hoped. I was so happy when I could give back this summer. I had hoped we would be being Santa’s again this year, not the other way around. I waited until the last minute because I kept hoping something else would pan out. I feel like a beggar and I’m sorry.

Edit 2 if anyone has any suggestions for how to combat fleas, I’d be very appreciative. It looks like the medicine didn’t work (that goes on their backs every couple of months). It’s so embarrassing, but, we are being attacked, our youngest son is allergic and it getting blistered by the bites. We don’t have health insurance. We are trying to combat it, but it really feels like we are losing. It looks like, you only see one or two a day, but being covered in bites let’s us know they are there. Again, I’m begging for suggestions. Thank you!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.