I’ve posted this before but you guys didn’t recognize the brilliance of it so I’m posting it again because fuck you that’s why
Did you hear about North Korea shutting down because of a Covid case?
It turns out Kim Jong is not the il-est.
Because of you little peanut, I have this day.
Happy Father's Day!
Did you hear about the ape that got bullied because of his low status?
He was a norankutang.
I don’t test drive cars because of the “you break it you bought it.” Policy.
I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to you lock calmly because
Communication is key
I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Monday.
But don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
Did you hear about the cowboy who wanted to be a cheerleader but couldn't because of his uncontrollable gas?
He was the rootinest tootinest cowboy in the wild west
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
Do you think Snoop will go to heaven when he dies? Of course, because all dawgs go to heaven.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Have you heard of the guy that bowled three hundred and one? No? Because I’ve never heard of anyone that bowled three hundred and lost.
We all know 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but do you know what happened after?
2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even.
My wife left me because of my obsession with crosswords. I guess you could say I'm...
1 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Across
1 Severe and overwhelming shock or grief (10)
My theory as to why USA and Cuba had their dispute was because of oil. Evidence you say. I just found Fidels Castrol
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]
This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.
If you hate someone because of their race, you're a racist.
Does that mean if you hate someone because of their bike you're a bicyclist?
I want tibia your Valentine because you are so acute! (thanks Museum of Science Boston!)
Are you afraid of bats? Because I saw a 3 and a half foot long one in real life!
It was at a baseball game.
What do you call a potato who’s a tyrant because of his small genitals?
A tiny dick-tator.
(I'm a new father, gearing up for future embarrassment)
