Traveling with my nine year old, and he observed that our gate in Hartford was A6, and our gate in Baltimore is B6. I respond that it's raining so hard we'll take a boat home...

...then we'll be C6.

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👤︎ u/Sunstoned1
📅︎ Dec 20 2020
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What did the Baltimore man call his older girlfriend?

Old Bae

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📅︎ Nov 11 2019
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BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.

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👤︎ u/Jeepguy797
📅︎ Aug 13 2019
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6 years ago today on my birthday. The Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowls, both on February 3rd. All a Baltimore boy would like for his cake day is some purple fever! I believe #20 intercepted Colin's ball hence "Ed Reads". I crack myself up.
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👤︎ u/717to321
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.

Oops, wrong sub.

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📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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Driving through the harbour tunnel in Baltimore, I asked my kids to tell me if they see anything interesting in the tunnel...

They said there was nothing interesting, just tiles and other cars. I said that's because the tunnel is "bored".

They didn't get it. I told them you have to dig deep for that one.

Eventually they got it, and told me to stop telling bad jokes. I wanted to see how low I could go.

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👤︎ u/bcjgreen
📅︎ Oct 13 2015
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I'm from Baltimore, and my boy said he wanted to be a creepy rockstar for Halloween

I said "That's easy, you're already a Maryland man's son."

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📅︎ Oct 22 2018
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Baltimore, Coral! imgur.com/gallery/RIhcAuu
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👤︎ u/BeauElliot
📅︎ Apr 28 2015
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Friend in Baltimore asked about advice for a hairstylist

And I said Barber Allen Poe

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📅︎ May 31 2017
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Found this in baltimore
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📅︎ Aug 03 2013
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I was visiting D.C (from Baltimore) & took a yoga class. After class, the instructor said "Please come back, we'd love to have you again." I responded...

"namaste in Baltimore, thanks"

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📅︎ Jun 17 2017
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We were in the Baltimore Aquarium.

There is a room dedicated to sea anemones, a big space with low light coming from these glass tanks full of beautiful, fragile creatures. My son and I stood admiring them for a moment, and I commented, "Well, at least they'll never be lonely here."

"Why is that, Dad?"

"With anemones like these, who needs friends?"

A loud universal groan went up and I hastily retreated.

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👤︎ u/oldforger
📅︎ Jul 20 2015
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My dad's reasoning for Baltimore's current state.

http://i.imgur.com/rTh3cwi.png

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📅︎ Apr 29 2015
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Was in the Amazon part of the Baltimore Aquarium...

and my dad looked at me and goes "I didn't realize we were in an online retailer!!!"

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📅︎ Dec 17 2013
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Is there a lifeguard around?
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📅︎ Sep 11 2018
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The Gettysburg Adress

1195 Baltimore Pike #100, Gettysburg, PA 17325

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👤︎ u/betazoom78
📅︎ Apr 29 2016
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My great grandfather telling my dad and I about his life when...

After telling us about moving to Baltimore in the 30's: Dad: "So how'd you get to Baltimore, papaw?" (Meaning, was it for work or any particular reason. ) Papaw: "I took the train, boy." Like it was the dumbest question he'd ever heard.

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👤︎ u/tubadog88
📅︎ Jul 25 2014
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Watching Monday Night Football...

Dad: what do you think they call people from Baltimore?

Me: I don't know...

Dad:...Balti-morons...

.....

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📅︎ Nov 25 2014
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