Bakers (bakery) Puns

And the baker replies, “no, you’re right! It’s a cake!”

“Aye, but that’s Madeira cake…”

Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye."

Baker: why? Dude: "it's a piece of cake"

Because the bakers knead the dough.

He always liked loafing around.

I was browsing when I saw a couple of loves fused together looking quite fallic. I asked the Baker which one that was. It was the Dill dough

The man approaches a baker and says "excuse me, do you serve crab cakes here?"

The baker replies "no, we do not."

Saddened, the man lifts up the crab and says "what a shame... it's his cake day."

They were inbred.

The baker gave a rye smile.

So I went to a bakery right. I wanted a cake for a friends party. When I asked for a red velvet (his fave) they said they didn’t have any. Well that kinda put me in a sour mood to be honest. One of the bakers pulled me aside and told me he could make one for me. This man really rose to the occasion and saved my day. He even cut the fee (It was the yeast they could do) and I didn’t rye about the wait. I mean if someone is baking you a cake personally I doughnut think you can complain. At the end of the day I got my cake and that was that.

Whatever happened to bakers A-D?

The baker says, "Hello. What can I get you?"

"Yes, I'd like a p-p-p-p cobbler," the guy says while wringing his hands.

The baker looks at him confused, "I'm sorry, what type of cobbler?"

"A p-p-p-p cobbler," the guy says while starting to sweat.

The baker says, "Do you mean a peach cobbler?"

The guy smiles and nods his head, "Yes, that's what I meant. Sorry, I have peach impediment."

Asks the Baker the Pinguïn : 'Hello do you want white or brown bred?' Upon which the Pinguïn says:' Doesn't matter, because I'm on the bike'

A baker and his wife had a child. A lovely, healthy boy. Since the wife was mad about history, she wanted to give the boy a name suitable for a man destined for great things. Jokes were made, names proposed, but in the end the decision was made - they named the boy Attila.

Attila showed great potential from an early age - he excelled at sports, grew strong, but his other capabilities were astonishing as well. He learned and went through encyclopedias like a fire through forests. Surely enough, he was bound to become a great man some day.

Apart from being an exceptional young man, he loved animals as well. He was kind and compassionate, equally cherishing all forms of life. Since his parents loved him so much, they bought him all he ever wanted - but he did not ask for much, he was never greedy.

Growing up, he has received many animals as pets - there were cats, dogs, hamsters and even exotic animals - tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, you name it.

Their home became a sort of an animal sanctuary, and Attila took care of all animals with love and passion. But, the family business was starting to suffer when his father the baker got ill.

Being the amazing young man he was, Attila stepped up and started learning secrets of the trade - he started baking like no one else.

But, since he devoted his time to the bakery, the animals were starting to be neglected. He tried feeding them, petting them, but nothing helped.

Slowly, one by one the animals passed away leaving behind only the most resistant ones - the snake and a few spiders.

The spiders were easy to take care of, but the snake wouldn't eat, no matter what. Saddened, Attila came to his mother and asked for advice as he was all out of ideas. Of course, being the caring mother she always was, she passed on her knowledge to Attila:

"This anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, Hun."

My wife and son and I went to get a dessert at a new bakery in town. In the display case I saw some lemon currant cookies.

I asked the lady behind the counter if they had dates in them, and she went and asked the baker in the back.

She came back and said, "nope, no dates."

I said, "they're out of dates, they don't sound current to me!" my wife slunk over to a table while the lady and I (mostly I) laughed.

A man and his wife enter a bakery to buy some bread. Now these are harsh economic times, and the man says to his wife, "I'm not sure if I want to spend my hard earned money on this bread because I don't know who makes it. I don't know whose hands have been on it, you know?", and his wife replies, "But honey, the baker is our neighbor, Alfonso. He kneads the dough."

A rabbit walks into a bakery and asks: "Hello, do you have carrot cake?" The baker responds: "Well sorry, but I don't have carrot cake." The next day the rabbit comes in again and asks: "Hello, do you have carrot cake?" The baker answered: "I am sorry dear rabbit, I don't have carrot cake." The next day the rabbit comes in again: "Hello mister baker, do you have carrot cake?" The baker answered with a smile on his face: "Oh yes, I do have carrot cake!" The rabbit: "Tastes horrible, doesn't it?!"