GF: What's that?
BF: Remorse code.
I was told a long time ago your true friends will be honest with you, especially if it's not something that will hurt your feelings really bad.
So this life long joke of "kansaw" was only ever corrected by boyfriends, best friends, and family. Others were people thinking i meant "warsaw" in which i frantically said oh no no no!
I made a point to be say this one main line like "omg can a tornado in kansaw just suck me out of this"
"Maybe i should move to Kansaw where its just wind and tornadoe shelters"
I tried to make it come up organically as possible though.
But the other times where people said nothing, some of these people good friends, now have a joke behind my back but i had it behind their backs first....
Life is fun
As I pulled the comforter over him I said, "I got you covered."
I proceeded to laugh for 1 solid minute, he did NOT think it was funny.
Texas they are litteraly diyng of How hot they are (Im sorry for anyone in Texas)
TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!
Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!
He said "I heard it's a real blockbuster!"
Me: Aww, that dog has three legs! BF: Well, most dogs have three legs. The only dogs that don't have three legs are dogs with two, one or zero legs.
We just got out of a construction zone and we were able to get into the passing lane to go faster. He mentioned that we had to go around this guy with a horse trailer. I could barely keep a straight face as I told him, "Yea, you would think with all of that horsepower, he would go faster." I couldn't stop giggling like a madwoman. He just looked at me like I was an idiot.
Background: My boyfriend is stuck on crutches after having hip surgery and likes to sit in the recliner with his legs propped up. Since he can't move his hips, I have to lower the footrest for him to get out of the chair.
Him: Can you put my feet down so I can go relax in the bed for a while?
Me: Feet, you're stupid and useless and no one likes you!
Him giving me silence with a side of contempt while I cackle.
Laughter is the best medicine...
We walked past the entrance where people were setting up for card game tournaments, including Magic: The Gathering. He stopped me and said completely deadpan, "This is where the magic happens."
At a tourist attraction a large group walks past us speaking a different language
BF: I think they're Russian
Me: Where do think they're rushin to?
Eye roll and forehead smack. Success :)
He said, "no... What, do you think I'm INCENSitive?"
He was very amused with himself.
Watching The West Wing
bf: That episode was intense.
Me: No, it was in the White House.
making the bed
"I got that sheet right" i instant lock eyes with my bf and start grinning
he said it wasn't funny and then we got in bed
He asked, "why do you need to knead the dough?"
Me: To create gluten.
Him: Ohhhh. Well can I knead your butt? grabs and gropes my butt
Me: My butt already has glute-en!
Me: (putting clay mask on hands) If you gotta do anything with your phone, do it now with your left hand!
Bf: That's my texting hand, you started on the wrong hand.
Me: No. I started on the RIGHT hand.
-groans commence-
(I was complaining to him that I had a stiff neck, clearly he thinks he's hilarious lol)
http://imgur.com/blH5vKf
We are on a ski trip in Colorado for his birthday and Christmas. We have to wake up early so we can get a good parking space and beat the crowds. Today is his birthday and our alarm clock this morning was the theme song to Hawaii 5-O. He turned 50 today. Hahaha.
