On topic: Celebrity Attractiveness

So, my parents were talking about whether a celebrity (who's name I didn't manage to catch) was attractive or not.

Mum: "Yeah, she's attractive, but she's a bit bipolar though" Dad: "That's okay just take her to the equator, and she'll be fine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xionkana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

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Because people look good with them!

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They say opposites attract; so if your mum/mom serious, then your...

Dad jokes!

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Easier to read people.

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Hes known as the bi-polar bi-polar bi polar bear.

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What happens when two drops of dew are attracted to each other?

They get a due date.

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Pharaoh Moans.

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You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!

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Wow that pen is so attractive.

Maybe I am pensexual.

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Attractive

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I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.

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People from all Woks of life, son.

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He heard she was extra virgin.

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I believe in a cosmic force...

I am especially attracted by gravity, it keeps me grounded.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.
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I thought that was their Maine attraction.

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They get all the tang they want, after all.

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Pharaoh moans.

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A tramsexual.

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They gave me another one free of charge.

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You know gaining weight actually makes anything more attractive

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Sausages.

Thought of this at work while I was cooking.

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β€œOh, deadass?” I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ledin542
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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