My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Australian Emo in Captivity
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonradSchwoerke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity

Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Afraidcoast229
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.

When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If a Vienamese human trafficking ring offers one of their captives as the prize of a contest..

is that a win Nguyen scenario?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I just got done performing at the local correctional facility

It was a captive audience

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattxfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The dragon killed the knight that came to save the captive princess and then said to her:

What happened? Seems you had a lousy night ...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A man goes to the zoo and sees a baguette in a cage

The man says to a zookeeper "Why's that in there?" and the zookeeper says "What do you mean? It's bread in captivity. "

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roachwarrior
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I lost a piece of toast at the zoo.

My friend: so it’s bread in captivity?

Me: crying no it landed on the sidewalk.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Last week at the zoo, I saw a baguette in a cage.

It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 356
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I️ just read a book about Stockholm syndrome

The first couple chapters were awful but by the end I️ loved it

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cochini123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo today where I saw a baguette behind the bars out of curiosity I asked the zoo keeper if everything was alright he replied

β€œYeahh mate no problem it’s bread in captivity”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaseNStatham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I once performed stand up in a prison...

What a captive audience!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamWat23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted more bread so I placed a slice in a cage

It's now being bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbasyar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my kids to the zoo today and we noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures...

I asked the keeper, β€œHow did that toast get into the cage?”

She replied, β€œIt was bread in captivity."

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!

So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:

β€œSeaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks” or β€œThanks, but No Tanks”

Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutsandhoney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo the other day and saw a baguette in the cage

The sign said bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Def_Not_Alt_Acct
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a baguette in a cage, there was a sign next to it.

It reads β€œBread in Captivity”

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otacon368
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/netflix_dweller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

It was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geruvah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

It was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatWasAQuiche
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo today and saw a piece of toast in a cage? The zoo keeper told me...

That it's bread in captivity.

Sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkBlueMullet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilahmchris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and all I saw was a single loaf of bread in the middle of one exhibit

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Copey85
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see the baguette in a cage?

The sign underneath it said bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomon34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JG_melon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

The Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 658
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sizzlingmaniac69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 229
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owlbear15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage....

I asked the zoo keeper why there was a baguette in a cage and he said it was bread in captivity!

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlimReaper1DTM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Last time I went to the zoo I saw a baguette in a cage, .

when I asked the keeper about it, he said it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RB9k
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to the zoo yesterday with my family and saw a baguette in a cage

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eshenanigans
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage...

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tryantula
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo today and saw a loaf of bread in one of the enclosures

Turns out it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samworger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 270
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hamburgler007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a baguette at the zoo

It was Bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theMasterDerpy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage

Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anasuna
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage,

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiiiiitchC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and I saw a baguette in a cage

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N__ster07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a baguette at the zoo...

...it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/134282
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo the other day, walked past a cage with just a baguette in it. Confused, I checked the sign......

.........it said bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StanleySkillz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I was at the zoo, and saw a baguette in a cage.

The Zookeeper said he was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMiniDuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage

I asked a zookeeper what that was about and he told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yyzable
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to a zoo and they had a brioche roll in a cage.

It was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baseballdudeman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to the zoo with my dad yesterday and saw a piece of toast in the monkey habitat.

He told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/764seca
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'

'It was bread in captivity' she replied.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukepeterwatson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw a piece of toast in a zoo enclosure today...

It looked like it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlovescoffee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report

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