That shit was bananas.
The tips were huge
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkey’s health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldn’t possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
"He was always looking down on me!"
You would not believe the uproar.
i think it's bipolar
I hope they put the fence back because some of the animals got out.
..and I knew She was a Keeper.
Half an hour, same as the zebras.
because there are too many cheetahs.
It was otter chaos.
My friend: so it’s bread in captivity?
Me: crying no it landed on the sidewalk.
It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.
He refused to address the elephant in the room.
It’s the mane attraction
It was just a bear bum.
Dad: Where’s the otter one?
it was apparent they couldn’t find the otters, when I walked up and said “there must be either one or three of them in there.” Wife says “why not two?” I reply, “well, they wouldn’t put an even number of ODDERS in there!”
Wife is still shaking her head.
Biggest gummy bear you’ll ever see
The zoo tour guide told us that one of the snakes was sick. I blurted out "he must have a reptile dysfunction".
Said the pay is lousy but the tips are HUGE!
He is hippo critic Al.
There's to many cheetahs
So I look intently and say, “Is that fire-ants crawling around on that bench?” It definitely helped them both get up. 😉
Well yeah! That's where all the big CAT scans are done
The dad looked down at his map and said "Have you seen a macaque?"
He was trying to figure out whether he is his brother’s keeper or his keeper’s brother.
He said, “Sorry. It’s my bear to cross.”
I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'
'It was bread in captivity' she replied.
It was pandeMOANium
Me: You know, they say porcupines are one of the smartest animals on Earth.
Wife/kids: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, science has proven that they're pretty sharp.
A few people suffered from turd debris burns.
It was panda-monium.
We went with our 2 boys. Leaving the alligator exhibit, she said to our older son, "Say, 'Bye, alligators!'"
... At which I loudly huffed and vehemently pointed out the missed opportunity.
"I mean, 'see ya later, alligators!'"
is out of hand.
That shit was bananas.
That shit was bananas.
It was Bread in captivity
...it was bread in captivity.
The Zookeeper said he was bread in captivity.
