Do you know what DNA stands for?
National Dyslexics Association
Scientists have just discovered Krispy Kreme is associated with memory loss. Or maybe it was Dunkin’..?
Got an email from the Alzheimer’s Association today
I don’t remember signing up on their mailing list.
Pretty proud of this one.
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
Why isn't Uranium associated with Ukraine anymore?
Cause it lost decay
God im sorry
I've just joined the DNA . . .
The National Dyslexia Association
what did the banana lawyer do?
filed an ap-peel!
...and what happened?
there was a split decision!
Dyslexics of the World ...
sad news.After 10 years as chairman of the Stilts Performers Association,
Ive decided to step down.
the Origami Association went bust today.
They Folded this afternoon.
The vampire hunters' association had a community outreach program
they had to appeal to stakeholders.
This holiday season, please donate to the National Association of Procrastinators (NAP)
They're way behind in meeting their fundraising goal before the end of the year. They don't have a fundraising progress chart available yet, but they're working on it.
The Associated Press announced today that Biden has promised $1.99 a gallon gas this month.
I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
I love the name Gina so much that I'm debating whether to use it again on my second daughter...
I guess that would make her Regina.
A guy with two left feet goes into a shoe store and asks one of the associates...
"Excuse me, but do you have any flip-flips?"
It's not easy being an employee at The Flat Bottom Association.
I've had to work my butt off.
What happened to the "no pillars association"?
They didn't get a lot of support.
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven’t released the name of the whistle-blower.
Had the best spur of the moment joke tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my side-couch table and the book I was reading.
My sister in law (over for the holidays) grabbed the book, (already soaked with Cabernet)
I told her “you can keep it, but it’s already half RED”
I was so proud of myself but got not a single chuckle.
I knew this was the place to report my major dad joke accomplishment.
Edit*
By the way, I work in hospice and the book was “
“Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. It’s an amazing read for anyone facing end of life. If it is you, or someone you love. Not to abuse my post,but it’s a best read!
I am in no way associated or benefiting from any sales of this book.
I’m painting medical conditions
Joe Biden is reportedly looking to nominate geologists to be supreme associate justices
The news supports recent claims that he's trying to stack the quartz
Which federal agency came up with the five second rule?
The Food on Rug Administration
From the Wikipedia article about the song Cherish by The Association.
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
What is the Tunnel Diggers Association's motto?
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
A beloved cartoon artist was found dead in their home today
Officers state that the details are sketchy
My friend got attacked by a group of mimes
They did unspeakable things to him
Since flowers produce aroma, and flowers are typically associated with love, couldn't flowers be considered aromantic item?
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.
What are the last words of the experienced mushroom picker?
"Damn, I've never eaten such a mushroom before."
I own a kennel. Apparently, its conditions were so unsanitary that the UN had to get involved. When I came back from vacation, I asked my associate where all my animals had gone.
He replied "WHO let the dogs out."
"Who?"
"WHO"
"Who???"
"WHO"
I'll show myself out.
I got voted in as Chairman of the Walkie-Talkie Association today
"It's a pleasure to be here as the keynote speaker for 'The Purple Fruit Growers Association'" said Tom
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
My neighbour lends people money, but refuses to take on partners or associates.
He's a lone-wolf loan-shark.
Why does the powerwalking association have a hard time electing a president?
DNA stands for
National Association of Dyslexics
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
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