'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
I said, "Sorry, I don't do it on porpoise"
Let's see what you can doe...
We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.
Reddit, how can we improve these?
Moose - I find you amoosing.
Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.
Owl - Owl always love you.
Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.
Skunk - I stink you're sweet!
Bunny - Everybunny loves you!
Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?
Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.
Wolf - Wolf you marry me?
Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!
Turtle - You're turtley amazing.
Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.
Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.
Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!
Raven - Can't stop raven about you.
Turkey - I could just gobble you up!
Caribou - Where does one find a wedding ring for his deer? Why at the cariboutique, of course.
Deer - I love you deerly!
Goose - You give me goose bumps.
Sasquatch - Getting you to marry me was no small feat.
Also looking for some ideas for racoon, snake, and groundhogs.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
Nature abhors a vacuum.
You can legally put down one
I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.
Lion, Ass, Cheetah
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
A laughing stock!!!!
Turdles.
but what do rhino.
He said, “You bet your ass.”
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Manta Del Ray
A hedgehog!
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
Cowculus
A weeb wacker
Fish, they have scales
Bok-Bok-Boku No Hero Eggadamia
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
The ones with faux pas.
They all said, “Ewwww.”
The dolly llama.
They always want to hang out.
Dogstyle
It’s just a rough giraffe.
Adolphin
it was a crab
you get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood
Edit: Thank u for the gold, kind stranger
The premise, the movie, Nemo, it was a little fishy.
An a’cowtant.
You nique up on it.
How do you catch a tame animal? The tam way, you nique up on it.
He has awwtism.
They usually have fantastic tales.
Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"
Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."
Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"
Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."
Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"
Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."
This duck came in and I swear he was on quack
I had to because the seal was broken.
Because they'd see everything in hindsight.
It was otter chaos.
The Manga Carta
Recyclebulls
A squarrel
It was a shih tzu
A traveling mouse.
It’s a real Shih Tzu.
The panda, because of the pandamic
A little 'otter
Joke by my grandpa
Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.
"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."
"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."
The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."
Okay, whatever floats your goat!
but they’re the most dangerous in Queensland because they can move in any direction.
The main frames are key
... a little bit of salt.
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
Some people may consider this hippo-critical
It's a scatter plot.
A kangaruse
Elephantastic
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
It was a guaca-mole.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey stood nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all... hawk, lion and stinker.
