What did Peter Andre say to the waitress at Oktoberfest?

Just give me some kind of stein girl.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/MoFauxTofu
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Swedish astronomer Andres Celcius died in 1744 at the age of 43.

Though his rival, Fahrenheit, was convinced he was 103.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my kids that girls would often "go out on a limb" for Andre the Giant.

Then I showed them that famous photo of the four ladies sitting on his arms outstretched. (The sub doesn't allow photos posted)

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/bishslap
📅︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Andre 3000 say to the girl at the supermarket who was reorganizing protein powder?

I like the whey you move

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/ngabear
📅︎ Jan 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Andre Cassagnes, the inventor of the etch a sketch, has died at 86

According to sources, he will be cremated, and then shaken until he disappears.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/EvTheSmev
📅︎ Feb 04 2013
🚨︎ report
Andre Ware

Last night I got my wife to giggle just a bit with this one. We were watching the Super Bowl and I noted that

They should really be aware of where Ware is at all times. He can wear out an offensive line.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Theeclat
📅︎ Feb 09 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend said. “I am late. I have to go and feed my baby hamsters.”

I said, “ Are you sure your baby would like it?”

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Paging

I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.

This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.

Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)

Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey

Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe

Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure

Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)

Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl

Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec

Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin

Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette

Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader

Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki

Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish

Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank

Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo

Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia

Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis

Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni

Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium

Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon

Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester

Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia

Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan

Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff

Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous

Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni

Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur

Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera

Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple

Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino

Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter

Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia

Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone

Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark

Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki

Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery

Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric

Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank

Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma

Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass

Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella

Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe

Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa

Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente

Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda

Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike

Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum

Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/RayZinnet
📅︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a naked mexican ?

Andres

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad on an autobiography I was reading.

I was reading Open by Andre Agassi when he came in the room and said, "To save time you can just open the back cover and read the "About the author" section." Facepalm

👍︎ 206
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Bill Bryson's Dad

I was at an event where Bill Bryson was speaking and he told this story about his father.

We were going to the San Andres Fault and when we got there we were all taking in this incredible scar running across the landscape and my father suddenly throws a quarter into the fault. When we looked at him confused, he just said, "I've always strove to be generous to a fault."

👍︎ 21
💬︎
👤︎ u/Falling323
📅︎ Feb 24 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.