AYS Puns

For those of you not getting the v or the d

because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D

Ay poppy

Geometry

I met a stranger o‌‌n t‌‌he t‌‌ube t‌‌he o‌‌ther d‌‌ay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he s‌‌aid, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy t‌‌apped o‌‌n m‌‌y bedroom w‌‌indow, a‌‌t 1‌‌1.30 pm last n‌‌ight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

It wasn’t very poplar.

It was very time consuming

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

I guess they aren't a very poplar.

A Toyota Yaaaris

I keep my money in a snowbank. I went to make a withdrawl, but it turns out I have snow money.

I was wearing a frog costume which got me fired. Turns out, I kermit-ted a crime

Penn-ay

Ay papi!

So I wrote an U-Ess-ay

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.

A Pine-apple!

A zombay-ay-ay

My son asked me "Where's the chili powder?"

I replied "Right next to the Argentina powder."

To his credit, he slitted his eyes and intoned "I said 'chill-EE' powder, not 'chill-AY' powder, Dad."

The Cheddarales (ched-er-AHL-ays).

I was doing some stargazing with my telescope Saturday night, since it was a good time to view Uranus. When I was done, I carried my telescope inside and my brother says "What were you looking for?" I made a point to say it like 'Ur-uh-nus'.

Dad walks into the room as I am leaving and asks my brother what I was looking for. Inevitably, my brother replies 'Ur-ay-nus'.

Dad quips to me down the hall: "Leave your brother alone and look for your own!"

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln