What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?

Golf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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People think that the word 'queue' is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letters

But those letters aren't silent, they're just waiting their turn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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What 4 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

Short

Edit: I mean. 5 letters word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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Golf is a fore letter word 4 a reason

It ain't easy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PGinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
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My friend loves mushrooms

So we drove to this place called the "Mushroom Festivallllllllll."

We had never been here before so we asked the ticket seller why the word "Festival" had so many letter L's.

He told us that the founders wanted morels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Decrofrorrim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2021
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Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight …

… sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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To whomsoever it me ever concern..

Don't be concerned by it, it is just a small 2 letter word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bnboeffq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2021
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A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store.

The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy-tomato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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The Beatles looked out for eachother in preschool

"What is the second letter of the alphabet?" The teacher asked Ringo. But Ringo wasn't sure.

But because Ringo had found himself in a time of trouble, John came to him and whispered words of wisdom

"Letter B"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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My 5-year-old niece is a little shit.

We were celebrating my other niece's 2nd birthday, when my 5-year-old niece comes up to me and says, "Hey Uncle, wanna play a game?"

"Sure. What game?"

"You pick a letter and I say three words that start with that letter."

Since it was her sister's birthday, I picked "B", assuming that she’ll probably say "Birthday".

She was like, "Okay… B... B... BB..."

I sat there for a second in a moment of defeat...

"Yes. Those are all words."

You little shit.


Edit for the Dad-impaired: "Be... Bee... BB..."

2nd Edit: Awesome! Each of my nieces got me to the top of this sub! Here's the one about the 2-year-old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2016
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I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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I am stuck on a crossword clue

5 letter word, "A vacant look; A ______ expression."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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There was just a Dad Joke on Jeopardy!

The category was 3-4, the number of letters in each of the two words in the answer.

The example was: What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.

Is Alex telling me that dadjokes is actually two words?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Father: Homophone for "I"?

Son: Eye

Father: Synonym for "sweet potato"?

Son: Yam

Father: Synonym for "casserole"?

Son: Stew

Father: Four-letter word, past tense of "to urinate"?

Son: Peed

Father: Hi Stupid, I'm Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v310city
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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"I've almost completed a crossword. I was wondering if you could help me," I told this girl on the train.

"I just need one more word. Six letters...another word for 'material'."

She said, "That's fabric."

"It's pretty great, isn't it?" I replied. "But my name isn't Rick."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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This girl with duck lips walked up to me.

"Hey," she said. "Help me with this crossword. I need a 7 letter word, the clue is 'destruction'."

I said, "Wipeout?"

She said, "Because it makes my lips look bigger. Now help me with the crossword."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Not a dad, but I hope you can torment your kids with this one.

So, Arthur's dad is writing a letter to his sister when he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his hand. So he yells,

 

ARTHUR! ARTHUR!

"Yeah, Dad, what's going on?"

ARTHUR!

"Dad, what's wrong?"

Quick, don't ask any questions. I'm going to say some words and you write them down.

"Why can't you write them down?"

Arthur, write this.

(If it doesn't make sense, read the last line out loud.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiltedlens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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Swearing

sitting in a coffee shop with my girlfriend and 4 yr old daughter. kid's looking at the letters on the coffee cups

Kid: Daddy, why are the letters all smooshed together?

Gf: It's called handwriting.

Kid: What's the last letter? I don't remember it...

Gf: It's an "S". Do you know a word that starts with S?

Me: Shit.

Gf: And why, of all words, did you use "shit"?

Me: I'm speaking in cursive

Gf: ΰ² _ΰ² 

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamb3ntSpartan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
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What is a four-letter word for 'wind instrument'?

Doing a crossword, I asked for a four letter word meaning 'wind instrument':

Mum: Oboe

Dad: Anus

Edit: improved formatting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinags
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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So Microsoft Office goes to Jail...

Word and Powerpoint get stuck together. For the first few months they hated each other but overtime they got to know each other better and became really good friends. After about a year Powerpoint found a hole in the wall to escape through. He really wanted to tell Word but he knew only he could escape or would seriously risk getting caught. So Powerpoint fled that next night but he left a letter to Word saying that he was sorry for leaving and explained that their friendship has changed him and the way he looks at life.

TL;DR Powerpoint escaped through hidden Access with a new Outlook, while Word is stuck in jail with Onenote and an Excel mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazymanfish90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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Language doesn't matter in the art of dad joke

My first language is Arabic. This conversation happened in Arabic with my dad. So I was telling my dad that I got an A in one of my courses and he asked me what course. I wrote it as math but in Arabic letters and I didn't use the Arabic word for it. And in Arabic the word math sounds a lot like the word for died.

Me: math Dad: my condolences

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNightmare210
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Not my dad, but a dad joke nonetheless

In the TV show Jimmy Neutron, Jimmy's dad, Hugh, pulls him over to speak with him

Hugh: Now, remember, son - there's no "I" in "team," you know what I mean?

Jimmy: You mean we should sublimate our differences for the good of our combined effort?

Hugh: What? No, no, I mean there's no letter "i" in the word "team." There's never a wrong time for a spelling lesson, son!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bennythomson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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Dadjoked my son

My son was taking the letters of his wooden alphabet toy and putting them on a plate.

"Are you going to eat your words, son?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/often-wrong-soong
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
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How to pronounce 'scythe'

So last night at dinner, I was discussing with my brother the pronunciation of the letter 'y' in the word 'scythe.' Me: "It's pronounced scythe!" (Sounds like eye) Brother: "No, it's scythe!" (Like sith) Me: "Mom, as an English major how is it pronounced?" Dad: "I don't think the British know that much about Star Wars." Me: "Mother, why did you marry him?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Tazan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
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What do you guys think of Great Uncle Jokes?

This was translated from Bengali so it might sound a bit funny as I'm not completely fluent.

A boy in grade 5 wrote a letter to Bill Gates.

Dear Sir,

I have a few questions for you,

  1. Why are the letters in the keyboard scrambled??? When will the correct version be released?

  2. We use MS-Word, when will Mr. Word be released???

  3. There is no [Any Key] button on the keyboard yet why does the computer ask for it???

My last question is:

  1. Your name means gates yet why do you make windows???
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
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What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?

Golf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Of the 26 letters of the English alphabet, which one is the Beatles' favorite?

Letter B Letter B Letter B Yeah Letter B Speaking words of wisdom Letter B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keyrover
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmethvin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running "Hello, world" program.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordMeme42
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Dad...

...is a two letter word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Growler_Prowler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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"There's a bee on your back"

My friend was wearing a t-shirt with some wording on the back. One of the words had the letter b in it. His uncle slapped him on the back and said "sorry, there was a b on your back". All I could think was, "this guy gets it, he knows humor"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sundog12100
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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Was playing scrabble yesterday...

My brother was missing the letter C for the word titanic and my dad pulls off "how can you have the Titanic without the C" We almost quit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jameelshammout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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What's up?

A two letter word indicating direction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatNippin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Dad used to say this a lot

Me: hey dad, you know what?

Dad: yeah I know what, it's a 4 letter word, starts with w

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeleresVerraden
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2014
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