A list of puns related to "1991"
Spoiler Alert.
Two naturalists spent the bulk of their lives studying bears in the Soviet Union. One was from Czechoslovakia and the other from Poland. When the USSR fell in December 1991 they were both old men, but they were excited about the prospect of finally getting the chance to study grizzlies in America. That following Spring they made arrangements to travel to Yellowstone to finally see the grizzlies.
When they arrived and informed the park rangers of their plan the rangers were alarmed, telling the scientists, "You can't go now. It's mating season, and the bears are very aggressive." But the former Soviets were insistent. "Please," they said, "We must go. We've waited our whole lives. We may never get another chance." Realizing the men couldn't be dissuaded, the rangers gave them a radio with instructions to report in with their location every day. The scientists set out, and for several days they reported dutifully that all was well.
On the third day, though, they failed to report in. Anxiously, the rangers sent out a search party to the scientists' last known location.
Unfortunately, the rangers discovered a bloody mess when they found the men's camp, and the tracks of two bears, a male and a female, leading off into the woods.
The rangers followed the tracks until suddenly they came upon the female grizzly, her muzzle still crimson with blood. They shot her and conducted an autopsy on the spot, sadly finding the remains of the Polish scientist inside her stomach.
"You know what this means, don't you?" said one ranger to the other. "Yes," the other replied, "The Czech is in the male."
On this day in history in 1991 a long lost half of one Samuel Clemens' manuscripts was found in a trunk in someone's attic. We mark this day as the day the original Huckleberry Finn was no longer cut in twain.
http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-03-16
I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.
He knows I'm a teetotaler.
"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.
"I know how to make some drinks."
"Like what?"
"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."
There is a snort there.
"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."
He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.
"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.
He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.
"How"
"Tell them about 1991."
"What?"
"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."
True story.
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