It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
When I was a kid it was free to use the air hose at the gas station. Now it’s $1
How do you get rid of a 1?
You add a g and it’s gone.
A bald man got a great deal on a wig today - only $1!
It was a small price toupee.
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $1.50. In Cuba, they're just $1 each
These are the Pie-rates of the Caribbean
How to earn a ton of money in 1 easy step
Put 5 female pigs and 5 male deers in your backyard.
Congratulations, you now have ten sows and bucks!
What do you call an army of 1 year olds?
Dude 1: Hey bro Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you hand me that pamphlet?
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
I always wondered how Wonder woman travelled from Themyscira to London in 1 day...
I then realized she's an amazon, so she gets next day shipping
In a world where people with superpowers make up 1% of the world population, people with two make up 1% of that 1%. These people born with two superhuman abilities are called squares.
Squares are raised to a second power.
Cars 1 “radiator springs” car pun
How the heck did it take me 13 years (watched it in 2008) for me to get that (probably a double) car pun. “Radiator springs”, cuz Car radiators. Correct me if I’m wrong.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders?
All the others are non-binary
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
There are 2 types of people in this world: 1: People who can extrapolate information based off of incomplete data
Fun fact: Every dictionary has at least 1 mistake in it!
In the M section, right after mist.
Thanks HAI
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,
along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.
Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.
I went to an orthodontist that only charged me $1
That's why I have buck teeth
Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"
Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."
(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)
It’s my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
I got gas for $1.19 today!
Unfortunately, it was from Taco Bell.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass
Chemist 1 : You don’t trust me?
Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
What was it called the very first time a mathematician solved 1/cosecant(x)
my first good pun...made at 1 in the morning
WHAT DO YOU SAY IN FRANCE IF YOUR JEANS ARE LOOSE ?
TOULOUSE
1: Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock
2: Who's there?
1: An octopus
I’m selling a TV for $1, but it’s broken and it’s stuck on the highest volume.
It’s something you can’t turn down!
Dad 1: Some should say we’re insignificant
Dad 2: where’s significant?
It's my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
This occurred to me at 1 am and I’ve never been more proud
What do you call a 1 legged Fox?
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
Dude 1: “Hey bro?” Dude 2: “Yeah bro?” Dude 1: “Can you hand me that pamphlet?”
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?
1 1 was a racehorse
2 2 was 1 2, 1 1 1 1 race; and 2 2 1 1 2
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
