Zemu Glacier Puns

I just want to know how thick it is on average.

I visited the relatives of my mother in Sikkim last winter and only once had I left the United States, therefore I was thrilled to explore the new sights of my family's homeland. My family had done a variety of tourist things in Gangtok and we had a day out to Zemu Glacier a few hours from Gangtok at the conclusion of the trip.

My uncle was a helicopter pilot and by pulling a few strings, he could fly my family over the glacier and he said that he could take us to the most isolated parts of the glacier. For a couple of hours we rode around and landed sometimes to get out and stroll about. It was the morning when we landed on a rather uneven area of jagged ice with mountains surrounding us on all sides. For many hours we were walking on the ice, so I was dumbly assuming I knew what I was doing and went out ahead of the family.

Ironically it was only a few metres that my right leg fell through the snow, and I threatened to grasp it with my hands, but my whole body went right through the fracture in the ice. Before I knew it, I was free falling with ice speeding at my side until I eventually stopped at the base of the crevasse.

The landing had me instantly winded and after a few dazed moments trying to regain my breath, I finally stumbled to my feet and only looked around to see the blackness surrounding me. The only light that I could see came down through the hole in the ceiling above me. From the bottom of the crevasse, I shouted out to my family, but heard nothing back. I thought that was rather strange, since they were behind me and I assumed they had seen me fall. The crevasse was deathly black and to combat the darkness, I grabbed out my phone, which had miraculously survived the fall, to use it as light.

Again I screamed as loudly as I was able to, but I heard nothing back from the crack above me, it seemed my family hadn’t seen me fall. My thoughts were rushing, It would have been a few hours before a helicopter could fly from Gangtok for assistance and then still longer for them to descend the crevasse. In addition, who knew just how much of the entry was blocked.

What I was wearing, I peered down. It was October, so I simply had a light jacket and fine gloves. But the longer I stood, the more the air grew colder and I could swear I could feel the frostbite beginning. As I investigated my surroundings, I began to realise the distance I feel and I believed I should have plummeted at least 40 metres.

After another few minutes I eventually bec

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Mathematical puns makes me number

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Put it on my bill

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

He lost May

I’m stumped.