What did Hitler say when he lost World War 2?

I did "Nazi" that coming

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InThelittleButt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
In world war 2, did war see Poland?

Yes- Warsaw, Poland

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wellbehavedbitch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Geoffrey Rush is gonna be in a World War 2 movie?

It's called Operation Barbossa.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was a kid I asked my grandfather who was born in 1944 if he fought in world war 2

He said yes and that he was in the infantry.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tripbin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
In March we had coughs, colds, Influenza A&B, and Covid-19.

I guess you could say the nations of the world were in a Cold War.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalmonXenu420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.

Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jolindbe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
We call it World War One in America

But Germany calls it World War Lost

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnIrishPotato69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.

You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The Bad Spy

During World War 2, a spy working for the East, and a spy working for Great Britain infiltrated Nazi Germany.

Their mission, eliminating a Schutzstaffel officer.

They succeeded, and the british infiltrator taunted his target afterwards

However, his comrade in arms then punched him in the face.

Why ?

>!He had said "You SS are stupid."!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Hitler invents a time machine...

It's some time in the second world war and Hitlers top scientists have built a time machine. Eager to use it, but fearing an accident, the fuhrer instead sends one of his henchman forward to 1985, hoping to gain knowledge of the future to use against his enemies.

Much to Hitlers chagrin however, the henchman quickly returns to the present with only a Casio Keyboard in hand. Breathless with excitement, he declares "Mein Fuhrer! With this device we shall wage sonic warfare on our enemies!"... He hits the demo button and the room is filled with sound.

"So... what do you think?" says the henchman.

Hitler, aghast at this otherworldly device says

"You must be mad Schultz! There's no place in this world for a Nazi Synthesizer!"

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tomheist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
🚨︎ report
My Dad, a long time ago

I was helping my Dad unload a trailer at a house he had just bought. Guy from across the street came over and was doing a bunch of random talking. At some point he said he had been in World War II. My Dad said "That's odd. I was in World War II and I don't remember seeing you there."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BobT21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Hitler's Doughnut, Original joke

One day during the middle of World War II Hitler woke up craving a doughnut. He called for one of his soldiers to go retrieve him one. The soldier left before realizing Hitler never told him what kind of doughnut. Not wanting to go back and ask and be punished for taking too long the soldier got a jelly filled and went back. Upon seeing the doughnut, Hitler withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier square in the chest then called in his guards to clean up the body, and sent another soldier off to get a doughnut. Not wanting to be shot like his predecessor, the second soldier got a dozen in a variety and went back. Hitler looked over the box and again withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier. He called in a third soldier and sent him to complete the job the other two had failed. Soon enough, the third soldier had made it there and back. He timidly walked Into Hitlers room and presented him a single doughnut. Hitler looked at it and said "Finally, white powdered!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oriyagi
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Just dad joked my dear mom

We were in the kitchen talking about musicians who served in World War 2 and Glenn Miller was brought up and how he served in the airforce. She finished her point by saying:

Mom:"A lot of musicians in that era volunteered to serve over seas."

Me:"Yea you'd think Glenn Miller would have wanted to stay at home but I guess he was in the mood."

She threw a piece of bread at me and banished me from the kitchen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drfunkenstien014
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report
The dadliest game

I play poker with a bunch of 50+ year old men every Saturday, and earlier this evening I was telling them about a documentary I watched called Head Hunters of world war 2, which is about some b17 pilots who crashed in the pacific, and were protected by a tribe of headhunters who started hunting Japanese soldiers to protect the American pilots.

After I finish telling them, one guy pipes up and says "did they find a job?"

The collective groans became raucous laughter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
🚨︎ report
History Class Dad Joke

This was from high school before I became a dad, but I think it still qualifies.

My history teacher was lecturing on the Paris Conference following World War I. Specifically, he was discussing each of the world leaders in attendance and each of their aims for the treaty that would result from the conference.

He was going down the line of leaders and asking the class what each leader wanted in the treaty. For example, "Britain was represented by Prime Minister David Lloyd George. What did Mr. George want in the treaty?"

He got through Britain, France, and Italy, then he came to the United States, represented by President Woodrow Wilson.

He asked, "What did Mr. Wilson want?" I responded, "Dennis out of his life once and for all?"

He and I were the only people who laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/genericguy4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.