Breaking news! Wineries across the country are forced to temporarily layoff employees.

It's being called the great Merlot furlough.

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📅︎ Jun 26 2020
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Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long....

At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.

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📅︎ May 31 2019
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I work at a winery, and a wine club member totally just dad-joked me!

Him: "Yeah, I kind of have a drinking problem right now..."

Me: "Oh...really?"

Him: "Yes, I have no good wine in my house!"

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👤︎ u/rizaroni
📅︎ Feb 10 2014
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At the winery...

My wife and I are at the winery with my parents and the guy pouring samples is just flirting with all of the women, including my mom and wife, and telling dirty jokes, which is no big deal, but I don't really appreciate him calling wine "panty dropper" when he pours it for my mom. That kind of weird stuff, y'know?

Then he tells a story that he has an identical twin brother, and when they were infants, people would always ask his mother how she tells the two of them apart.

"I can tell them apart by their balls,"

And we're all like, "Jesus, enough with the gross out humor already," but he finishes the joke; "One of the babies bawls all day, the other bawls all night,"

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👤︎ u/elbr
📅︎ Mar 21 2014
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I volunteer at a winery and vineyard on Wednesdays...

We're eating lunch outside yesterday after working in the vineyard all morning. The neighbor walks over to say hi.

Neighbor: "How's the vineyard going?"

Me: "Grape!"

Neighbor: "Oh..."

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👤︎ u/steve_z
📅︎ Jul 31 2014
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Help! I need a pun!!!

My girlfriend's dad (Rocky) makes his own wine and I want to make him a bunch of punny labels for the bottles as a Christmas present. Current leading contenders are:

  • Rocky and Bull-wine-kle's Alcoholic Grape Juice
  • Rocky Start Wineries
  • Rock Hard Wine

Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Sorry for all the wine-ing...

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📅︎ Nov 29 2014
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I got the perfect opening earlier today

While driving past a winery in California my mom says, "I wonder how the droughts will affect the grapes"

"I imagine the wine will be a bit drier"

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👤︎ u/Midpeaks3
📅︎ Feb 03 2014
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