I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.

I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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The author of Webster's dictionary committed suicide with the book he wrote.

At least he died on his own terms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I’d like to thank Merriam-Webster for teaching me the meaning of the word β€œplethora”.

It really means a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmhollifield
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Y'all just made it into the Merriam-Webster dictionary and the article uses this subreddit as justification!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dad%20joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Webster’s
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ow3n1989
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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They should call you Merion Webster

Because you have definition.

Told this to my fiance while discussing her arms at the gym. She actually chuckled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p3t3r133
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2015
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I just learnt the medical name for Viagra

Mycoxaflopin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thistardis
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I sincerely agree with the doctor!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abishiekh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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A friend with benefits who bakes bread could be called a cumpanion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Got banned from r/aww this morning because of a bad pun. Merry Christmas!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AaronDidntMessUp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...

"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."


Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:

"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peecatchwho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
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Where does Spiderman search up things if the Internet is down?

The Webster dictionary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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Shakespeare

I heard that the people of Webster's dictionary are teaming up with the Shakespeare theater company to introduce a new production. I hear its just going to be a play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCaptMAgic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
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Y'all just made it into the Merriam-Webster dictionary and the article uses this subreddit as justification!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dad%20joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnaldmilligan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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