Every time I wash the dishes at night after dinner, I use a whole bottle of dishwashing liquid.

Another day, another Dawn.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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So proud of my daughter, who ran upstairs to tell me our downstairs toilet was smoking.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

👍︎ 631
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📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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My wife said "what's wrong with your hair?"

"I washed it with bar soap... I didn't want to use your fancy salon stuff..."

"What salon stuff?"

"The bottle said 'oodways' "

"That was the shampoo, genius... it was upside down..."

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👤︎ u/profgarden
📅︎ Dec 03 2019
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Dadjoked a Walgreens employee

To set the scene I am in a Walgreens, specifically the shampoo/body wash aisle.

Employee knocks a few bottles of shampoo on the floor

Employee: "Whoops, how clumsy of me."

Me: "At least the bottles aren't glass, that would have been a lot worse."

Employee: "Yeah, that's true."

Me: "Although if they were glass clean-up would've been pretty easy because there would be soap all over the floor."

Employee pity laughs

Best trip to Walgreens ever.

👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Dec 05 2014
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We dont have a treetopper for the Christmas tree.

My younger sister says we don't have a fairy to go on the top. My dad walks out for a short time. We hear him washing some dishes. He comes back with an empty bottle of fairy liquid (dish soap called fairy) takes the top off it and places it atop the tree.

Dunno how long its going to be there.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/Imsquishie
📅︎ Dec 23 2014
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My wife uses a whole bottle of dishwasher every time she washes the dishes at night.

Another day, another Dawn.

👍︎ 55
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📅︎ Mar 07 2020
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