25 Hilarious Usain Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I'm a big hit every year at Christmas when I tell the Usain Bolt joke.

This is a running joke.

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👤︎ u/WantedDadorAlive

📅︎ Mar 28 2021

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Which country did Usain Bolt move to after his retirement?

Iran.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

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Did you hear the news Usain Bolt has COVID19?

Its spreading fast!

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👤︎ u/Brokenbyher2019

📅︎ Aug 25 2020

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Usain Bolt has Corona virus

I guess there is something that can catch up to him.

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👤︎ u/gfy4dsny

📅︎ Aug 25 2020

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Usain

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👤︎ u/TheShadowLeaf

📅︎ Jan 31 2019

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Usain bolt must be a fruit

Have you seen that mango?

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👤︎ u/AssasinButt

📅︎ Jul 07 2018

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What is it when a cannibal sees Usain Bolt?

Fast food.

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👤︎ u/koreangamerguy

📅︎ Nov 26 2019

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I saw this woman flirting with Usain Bolt down the pub earlier.

“Hmmm! She’s trying to pull a fast one” I thought

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy

📅︎ Nov 21 2019

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What's the opposite of Usain Bolt?

Me crazy nut.

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👤︎ u/ryanooooo

📅︎ Dec 05 2018

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Usain Bolt sucks at playing hide and seek.

He can run but he can't hide.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity

📅︎ Jan 02 2019

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What's Usain Bolt's favourite subject?

Jography

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👤︎ u/joeChump

📅︎ Mar 19 2018

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A lot of people are talking about Usain Bolt.

I guess it's a running joke.

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👤︎ u/fatandsalt

📅︎ Aug 25 2018

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Want to hear a joke about Usain Bolt?

It's a long-running one.

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👤︎ u/dadjokesfordayzz

📅︎ Sep 08 2017

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How does Usain Bolt like his eggs?

Runny.

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👤︎ u/ra3ndy

📅︎ Jul 13 2017

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What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

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👤︎ u/FuckinWimp87

📅︎ Jan 06 2021

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What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

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👤︎ u/chall101

📅︎ Nov 22 2018

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What do you call a runner that sheds their skin?

Usain Molt.

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👤︎ u/MrPlay3r13

📅︎ Mar 27 2019

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My friend got me while printing.

Me: Dude, this printer is printing so slowly.

Him: Well I guess you can't call it a s-PRINT-er then.

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👤︎ u/Legithmus

📅︎ Mar 25 2015

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What’s Jeffrey Dahmers idea of fast food?

Usain Bolt

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👤︎ u/FarmerLarBear

📅︎ Feb 13 2019

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My daughter was watching a video about amazing human feats.

Daughter: Hey Dad, did you know that Usain Bolt can run 27.7mph?
Me: Sure, but that's nothing, it's possible to run over 70mph if you have the wind to your back.
Daughter: What? Is that really possible?
Me: Yep! Anyone in a Hurry Can!

Some say she's still sighing to this day.

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👤︎ u/Matraxia

📅︎ Feb 13 2017

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My Dad sends a text MAYBE once a month. Then this happened last night.

Usain Bolt

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👤︎ u/kmays10

📅︎ May 07 2015

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They say good guys finish last...

So, what Usain Bolt do wrong?

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👤︎ u/TheIrishClone

📅︎ Dec 16 2016

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Usain Bolt must be a fruit.

Have you seen that mango

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👤︎ u/AssasinButt

📅︎ Jul 07 2018

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Who's the opposite of Usain Bolt?

You insane nut.

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👤︎ u/Teh_Slayur

📅︎ Sep 03 2016

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What's Brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre

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👤︎ u/mrcheckpointeh

📅︎ Jan 09 2019

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