Unlearn Puns

Learned this the hard way with a few of my hobbies. It doesn't hurt to look up a lesson or two before diving into something.

I'll start by giving a few examples:

• Reporting every moment of my day and what I have been doing to my new partner.

• Giving detailed explanations and long apologies that I may be a bit late to come home. My new boyfriend had to put some effort into not telling me "you don't owe me an explanation" 10 times a day.

• Explaining in detail who called me on the phone, why they called and what we talked about. That is still a bit difficult - I always have the urge to tell him who called and then I remember - he never asks, I can talk to whoever I want, I'm safe and I don't owe an explanation.

There are some more as well.

Which are yours?

Title is as it says. I don’t really use reddit and made this account only to post this. I am a very superstitious and religious person, but it has caused me nothing but pain and strife. I have desperately wanted to be able to call myself an atheist for years now, but have struggled to “unlearn” Christianity and the guilt. When I search for resources, all I find are books on how to “repair your relationship with God.” I don’t want this. I want to unlearn religion. Or at least attempt to. If God or any Gods are real I can’t see them as anything but evil, I’m not interested in subscribing to any theology in any way. The thought of “nothing” is more comforting to me than anything, but I can’t get myself to truly believe in it, or get over the guilt when I try to. I wasn’t raised “heavily” religious, but my parents are Evangelicals and I went to a conservative Evangelical church until about 11 years old. I don’t think I’ve experienced anything particularly “traumatic” regarding religion or anything like that, just heavy superstition and belief that causes a lot of paranoia and fear in my every day life. No one in my life now is religious in any way.

Any advice or resources are appreciated. I am tired of being afraid of “God” and being afraid of going to “Hell.”

I am a trans woman and I’ve come to the problem where I still act like a boy and it’s quite hard for me to unlearn those habits that I grew up with I want to act more girly and refined. I don’t want to act boyish it’s just comes naturally to me since I grew up a boy but I just want to be a girl how did you all unlearn those habits of acting boyish?

I’ve recently realized that I’ve been somewhat abusive towards my partner over the years, and am now in therapy and taking a hard look at the unglamorous parts of myself, trying to redefine who i am and how i react to things.

I’m hoping to find a subreddit that offers support for people in similar situations, because it’s unfair to ask my partner to be there to support me when i’m their abuser. I need somewhere to shout my thoughts into the void and process these feelings.

ETA: a little embarrassed that this is getting the attention that it is, if i’m being honest. despite that, very appreciative of the support i’ve received and suggestions, and the downvotes i was not expecting on people trying to tear me down. Apparently sometimes reddit is good!

It is a new year which is a perfect time to start with a clean mental slate.

One of the most difficult aspects about teaching traders how to be consistently profitable is how much their heads have been filled with absolute garbage.

Consider the following: There is no "house" when it comes to the market - meaning, the market has no built-in statistical advantage for or against you, the way a casino does. You are free to choose either side of a trade, and to decide whether to use stocks or options - and for every trade you make, someone else is on the other side. They aren't making the exact opposite trade the same time you are - they are just happily taking your order knowing you will probably lose.

Think about that - every market maker and institution out there would be more than happy to take the other side of a retail traders position - no matter what that position is - you want to be short AAPL, great, they are lined up going long. Want to go long AAPL? Fine - that same money is ready to take the bearish side.

Why? Because they know you will play it wrong.

Let's look at the Monty Hall Problem for a moment. For those that don't know it, it is a famous example of how people are bad at statistics:

If a contestant on a game show was told there are three doors - behind one of those doors is a new car but you don't know which door it is, and behind the other two is nothing. All they need to do is pick the right door to win. In other words, they have a 33% chance of winning.

They pick door number 1 (or 2 or 3, doesn't really matter) - but before the host of the game show opens door number 1, she opens door number 2 showing there is nothing behind it. She then asks the contestant if they want to switch their original pick of Door 1 to Door 3.

Over 70% of people would stick with their original pick (i.e. roughly 70% of people get this question wrong). However, Door 3 has a 66.6% chance of having the car behind it, and the original pick only has a 33.3% chance. In other words, you should only stick with the original door if you don't really want a new car.

Knowing how often contestants would make the wrong choice, I would bet against them getting a car every time. Why? Because I know I have a 57.1% chance of being right and winning the bet. (e.g. the 70% of idiots will still win 33.3% of the time, and the 30% that know math will win 66.6% of the time, meaning on average 42.9% of contestants would win the car, and 57.1% would l

i've just been horrible in so many ways to so many people and i feel so helpless knowing thats the kind of person i have been most of my life. i hate myself so fucking much

Hello everyone, I am super new to this sub and also to c++. I want to get some experience in C++. I have some experience in C. I know that C++ has many more stuff already implemented. For example instead of using char arrays, I can directly use string. In such scenarios, is it bad to use things from C? What are such things I should be aware of when transitioning to C++? What should I unlearn (forget)?

I already to stop doing anything islamic related and renounce for 4 years now. But I cant get out of a few thing, like you know when you feel unsafe you will recite a few of the Scriptures or Salawat. I tried anything like , when i suddenly mid of doing i try to stop myself from finishing it and open heavy music to make feel ease. I just feel annoyed that i still subconsciously doing it, and that the islamic teaching still latching on me still.

How do you cope with the nagging fear that your partner(s) are just settling for being non-mono because they love you, and the extreme guilt and feeling that you're not a good enough partner and are inevitably gonna neglect and hurt someone?

I struggle with it a lot, and it's most likely a good mix of relationship trauma, toxic monogamy and internalized mono-normativity..

Ughhhhh i feel b a d, and i don't know how to rest in it, no matter how many times my partner tells me they're perfectly fine with the situation. I'm so afraid of hurting my partners, being a bad partner, not prioritizing either of them enough, and the really big one is that i'm afraid they're just settling and tolerating this relationship style, not being comfortable in it

Entrepreneurship is a muscle. That is what the Airbnb founder Joe Gebbia says. You must get in the habit of just trying things.

See an opportunity? Try it.

The more you get used to owning your own production, the more confidence you feel and the more knowledge you have in your ability to break free of working for someone else.

Even if it never gets you financial freedom, you will have lessons/advice you can pass to your family (like Joe’s gave him).

This isn't a bad thing, I like the more realistic politics and such (Sturgians was probably a mistake but it's the closest thing to a norse faction I got, and I'm only a mercenary). But man I really do gotta play completely different. All of my cheese trader and politicalstrategies, and shit, even my battle plans are no longer useful...

I kinda love it

Did anyone have some habits or mannerisms they adopted purely from having to appear traditionally masculine and socially acceptable that they realized ultimately clashed with their innate feminity they had to cover up prior to transitioning?

I (21f) have been raised by parents that were in an abusive / toxic relationship that was basically a screaming match & power game 24/7. They separated when I was 9, but told me that if it wasn't for me they would have done so years sooner. I went to live with my mom after their separation. As a result, I have pretty bad anxiety and fear of failure.

I've always been more of a 'daddy's girl' although he did some things I disagree with too like occasionally hitting or make it seem like he was going to hit me - making me curl up and prepare for it - and then not hitting me for the sake of displaying power / authority I guess.

My mom and I have never really gotten along that well. When I was 3 she hit me with one of these hard slippers that she regularly wears. When we are in an argument now she still holds up a slipper, threatening to hit me & making me jump back 🤡 It was so bad at 13 that I myself asked my parents to go to a boarding school. I lived there during the week and came home on weekends until I was almost 19.

The thing this post is actually about is that my mom is a really stressed person all the time and a small inconvenience can make her explode. Sometimes it's something that I did, but sometimes it can also just be the plastic bottle of mayo falling over in the fridge. When things like this happen and we get into an argument / fight, she tends to say things like 'go hang yourself', 'I should've swallowed you', 'why can't you do anything right', ect ect.

Although I know this kind of language is hurtful and not okay in any shape, way or form, I was in a fight with my SO yesterday in which he was being pretty rude to me and telling me I need to stop stressing over little things because it stresses him out too. In response I said I wasn't stressing over anything until this argument and that I'm trying very hard * not to strangle him *. (I was really angry but I'm not going into the fight too much, it was resolved an hour later)

See the behaviour of my mom repeating itself? Stressing over little things and saying someting like that? We talked about it and resolved the argument and we're totally fine now, but I just can't seem to shake the realisation that I'm just repeating the abusive behaviour of my mom. That's so not okay.

Can anyone give some advice on how to break / unlearn toxic & abusive behaviour?

I promised my SO to work on it and he promised to not be rude about me stressing over things.

Thank you!

Title. Dark Souls used to be my favorite game before I started playing MH but recently I wanted to try out some new styles. I've been a SnS Main for quite some time now, even made some builds for it, but I just don't understand how you people dodge or avoid a monsters attack without any I-Frames (expect getting gud lol). Even tried out Striker SnS with both Arts that gave me I-Frames but still almost ran out of potions during those fights. Any tips?

Essentially the title. I find myself getting so worked up with my 6yo and yelling or saying things that I feel may have made the situation worse after. They don’t feel heard and I don’t either.. They’re in a pressing boundaries stage and will often lash out at their younger sibling, triggering me to raise my voice and use time outs as punishment. I hate feeling like I’m using an authoritarian parenting style like I was raised and want nothing more than to be a gentle, respectful parent. How does one stay level headed in the moment and break the cycle?

We have been together for 8 years, and long story short I have always been the problem. I have never respected his boundaries, I try to spend every moment that I can with him, I expect him to shoulder all of my burdens and make me happy even when he’s unhappy with me, I have no other friends not because I cant but because I don’t try, I am just all around generally textbook codependent on him.

As of more recently things have been extremely rocky with us. He has become increasingly exhausted by my toxic codependency for years, and has attempted to wake me up to it so many times only to fall back into old habits due to my manipulation. I don’t do these things on purpose, but Ive made him miserable throughout the years. He is now finally putting his foot down and giving me an ultimatum to change or he will leave me.

I am really struggling unlearning my abusive behaviors. I have a hard time controlling myself asking things of him or reacting disproportionately to boundaries or making him feel guilt-tripped into doing things for me despite his boundaries. I’m working on it, but keep having lapses of judgement during moments of extreme anxiety over the situation.

Has anyone here ever successfully bounced back from codependency? I just got a new therapist, but some support and advice from others who have been the toxic codependent in their relationship and fixed it would be helpful.

Ok so I got switched to LPO but I still walk around like I know the place like the back of my hand but I really need to get that "touristy swagger" back; I've been a uniform for 4 years now and this is my 3rd day as LPO I know I need to be professional but at the same time blend in; but it's really hard to do when It doesn't help that everyone asks me how I'm doing when I'm literally supposed to be doing my thing and look like I just popped out for some bread and tuna...

Anyway; I'm also looking for tips to improve continuity... I feel weird eyeballing regular customers and granny and such but knowing what's "normal" and also practicing watching Hands is helping a bit but I still stick out like a bent nail...

My nfather was very emotionally manipulative and I apparently learned it to. It is destroying my marriage. It is just one of many bad traits that I picked up from him. I am hating that I am like him because I hate him. I saw the damage he did to our family. I see myself repeating a lot of his behaviors . Thankfully my wife is much stronger than my mother was, but it means I am in the process loosing my relationship with each repeated mistake. I have been working on some very fundamental ones for the past 6 months and making progress but this one just bit me hard.

I keep seeing questions from women; "how do I get his attention", "how do I get him to ask me out", "how do I get him to know that I like him"... These "problems" are EASILY solved by just making the first move.

My father's favorite thing to do was bully me for my special interests or stims. Everything I came to like, he mocked me for liking, every single thing. If I liked a game, he would tell me it's stupid. If I liked a movie, he told me it was the worst. I started studying Japanese history, he would bring up Japanese related topics then start pointing and laughing making jokes 'oh now you got his attention now.' When I was enjoying literally anything, he would come up to me and tell me what I like is bad and mock my stims by mimicking me laughing.

I was so hurt by this, I just became nobody. Just remembering the nasty things he said to me, makes me start hyperventilating and everything gets fuzzy. I pretend to have no opinions on absolutely anything and hide any and all emotion at all times. I have gotten a lot better, but even over a decade later, I keep my interests secret even from my closest friends.

I feel ashamed for expressing myself at all. My music is secret, my shows are secret, what games I play I secret, I don't openly enjoy anything. This year my resolution is to be open about being autistic and start therapy(already found a few, made appointments) because it seems like this is something I can't just outgrow, I'm stuck like this. I know it's irrational, but I can't just stop. The thought of telling others I am interested in something makes frightened to a completely absurd degree, I will go non-verbal before I can say anything.

Anyone else experienced this?

For me, it took me a loooong time to learn a very simple thing from my family’s abuse. That I wasn’t ugly or fat, actually. Like I’m not the best looking person but I was never ugly??? I even looked up old photo albums of me 12-17. Ugly where ?? Like if I’m ugly so are you mom cause these are your genes lol. And I’m a size 4-6, aka “fat” in Asian terms but wtf that’s literally a healthy normal size for the general population. I had eating disorders because of it too. It’s so crazy to look back from a different lens. I grew up so long in paranoid, criticism, trauma - and never liked myself. Now I am learning to love myself and see myself behind the distortion. My conclusion is they “hate” us because they “hate” themselves but idk. The generational trauma goes deep and I’m over it

hi ive been thinking that ive been transphobic this whole time but it turns out ive just been ignoring reality to the point ive been thinking misogyny is fake because gender is a social construct and that all trans people are above every other person

edit im exaggerating, but sometimes my thoughts do get overwhelming and id like some advice to um idk gain some sense?

This year has been a year of self reflection, I want to go into the New Year with a better mindset and the ability to navigate tough situations without falling apart completely . One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I’m codependent on others due to my fear of being alone and I also unintentionally tend to ruin the mood sometimes when there is a celebration by always talking about my faults. I also learned through self reflection that I can be quite toxic in my relationships because I’m constantly pessimistic. With the ending of a toxic relationship, both at the fault of myself and my partner who was a bit emotionally immature, I want to take this experience and several others and grow and change so that if I ever get into another coupling I can be better or just be better to myself, I have always had low self esteem however with the past two years it’s gotten progressively worse and I have gained more weight than I’ve ever had and I’m stuck in this cycle of looking at the bad in life,I want to change, but I’m lost and I have no idea where to start. Also my motivation just isn’t what it use to be. In my late 20s but I’m constantly fatigued. Can anyone offer some tips?

Because what I know both terrifies and fascinates me to the point of madness.

Right off the bat: I’ll put a trigger warning here to be on the safe side, I’ll be talking about my experience growing up in a very white, old, conservative place- and the various attitudes that came with that. If I say anything offensive, it’s not because I mean harm, I’m just not very educated on some things/trying to unlearn 20 years of behaviour.

So I recently moved out of the rural village I grew up in, and into a city. It’s true when they say “you’ll meet all kinds of people”. Having this time away from my parents, and meeting new people has highlighted to me how much the attitudes I’ve grown up around have unconsciously seeped into me.

Now my parents are left wing (dad is economically centre right, and socially centre left) but are very…judgey people, and quite strict parents. They are judgemental about a number of topics, which has led to me not feeling like I can be myself- but I’ll keep to the point and stick with ‘queerphobia’ as an example.

It’s not that they’re like “gay people shouldn’t be allowed to get married” or anything, more like side remarks and comments, often (subtlety) implying common stereotypes- like the idea of gay men being predatory or NB people being ‘difficult’, none of this is said directly, it’s more…micro aggressions? Is that the right term?

In particular, they never ‘got’ gender. My new neighbour is a trans guy, some of my flatmates are non binary and my best friend has just come out as she/they. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to be an asshole, but I’m also struggling to grasp some of this. Like I keep going to refer to my trans neighbour as ‘they/them’ instead of ‘he’ because he looks and dresses quite feminine, and I know this doesn’t invalidate their gender but also in my head I…don’t really see him as male. It’s a new concept to me, I thought trans people were “born into the wrong body” and wanted to atleast change the way they dress to fit their gender identity, if they don’t want to undergo any biological/physiological changes. And what do I do with she/they? Do I use both interchangeably? Why would you decide to identify that way? Like why suddenly decide to use they aswell. I can’t help but focus so much on peoples pronouns, like it’s kinda central to my perception of them

How do I go about challenging and unlearning all these internal biases?

Hello! I've gradually shifted from 100% Whisper 2-pedal to 100% Unbridled 1-pedal, but now that it's about to be the thick of winter Im wondering how people are finding 1-pedal in the snow. I've got the AWD SR version, with the stock Michelin Primacy all-seasons, and live in the Chicago suburbs.

Does the fact that all 4 tires regen keep it from being an accidental fishtail machine, or should I expect to stick to 2-pedal if the roads are covered?

I’m 30/F. My parents are lovely and I know they tried their best to help manage me as an overweight child. But as I get older, I’m realizing that they passed down a pretty unhealthy understanding of food, which I know they got from their parents and the fact that they were teens in the 70s/80s. Here are some of the things I am trying to learn, because I was told the opposite while growing up:

-It’s okay to be hungry. Hunger itself isn’t a bad feeling, and it’s just indicative that we need to give our body some energy to continue to function at an optimal level. And we are going to get hungry a few times a day. It’s okay for me to have been hungry after school and needed a snack to hold me over til dinner, when I hadn’t eaten lunch in several hours.

-The goal is not to eat the fewest amount of calories possible. And in fact, eating ENOUGH is extremely important. My breakfast would be one piece of toast with peanut butter. Or one singular toaster strudel. What a terrible breakfast in hindsight. No protein and tons of sugar. No wonder I couldn’t concentrate in school!

-People have different dietary requirements. It makes sense that I, a teenager who played sports, needed to eat more at dinner than my mom, a petite woman who is relatively sedentary.

It was tough feeling shamed for genuinely being hungry, which led me to way over-eat junk food or make poor decisions for lunch or other times when I was unsupervised.