Underagent Puns

My son's been drinking whisky that's only aged for two years.

He's the dumbest thirteen-year-old I've ever met.

A minor scale

Because 7 was a six offender

Then a sign, then a person

There was this scientist that discovered a way to keep porpoises alive forever. Problem was that he had to feed them baby sea gulls Well the sea gull was a protect species so he had to be careful. Well one night he was bringing some back to the lab. It was very dark and he ran over a lion that was sleeping in the middle of the road A cop sees all this and you know what he arrested him for ? Carrying underaged gurls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises

This is not original. I read it in a book of puns 40 years ago. I do not know which one I would like to give it credit but it was 40 years ago

And they got arrested because underage drinking is illegal.

Because seven is a registered six offender.