Did you hear about the tumor that got drunk at a bar?
Apparently, he was a growing problem until they cut him off.
When I was first diagnosed with my brain tumor I was depressed for a long time..
...But now it's really starting to grow on me
I used to hate skin cancer
But it's starting to grow on me.
I've had a tumor most of my life, making every second a living hell.
My parents prefer the word 'sister'.
Doctors were baffled when a man came into the ER claiming that bingo had caused his tumor.
My friend Michael wanted to have surgery at his favourite bar infront of an audience.
The bar agreed to have an open Mike night.
A pirate goes to see the doctor about moles on his back to see if they are cancerous.
The doctor takes a look and says “You are lucky - they are benign”. To which the pirate responds “Arrrr, count again - there be ten”
The Doctor told me I have vitamin tumors.
what do you call a 3 hump camel?
The doctor said I had a brain tumor.
It's been on my mind a lot lately.
What do you call a helpful tumor?
Did you hear about the bingo caller who had a tumor biopsied?
What fatal mistake did I make playing Battleship against Cancer?
A surgeon had three surgeries assigned to the same day. After the first one he said: "One done, tumor to go"
I decided not to get rid of my tumor anymore
I dont know why, i guess it just grew on me
So my friend found out he had a tumor
My friend: So doc, how much do I have?
Doctor: I'm afraid it's only tumor weeks
I miss Bingo!!!
I miss all the ways I could make my Bingo fam groan…
~ B4 (and after)
~ I 18, I one eight.. (what’d you eat?!)
~ O69 (oh baby!!!)
~ N44 N four four (what you in for?)
Y’all got any more?
I got a tumor from playing so much BINGO.
A vending machine went to the doctor to have a tumor looked at
The doctor said the tumor was B9
I’ve got a tumor on my leg. I didn’t enjoy it the first few months...
They found tumors in my colon.
One day a man found a genie lamp. It granted him three wishes. After making two wishes, he got greedy and wanted more so, he asked for two more.
And now he’s taking chemo
I found a tumor in the vending machine.
Don't worry though, it was B9.
What did the dog say when the owner found one of three tumors?
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger
my friend is sick of being on call
I guess he shouldn't have become an oncologist
So, someone posted something on /r/movies about Val Kilmer being rushed to hospital recently with a throat tumor.....
.....and I posted "Is it Valignant?".....which was then followed by the most downvotes I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Lesson learned: keep my puns to this subreddit only!
What’s a cancer patient’s favorite part of playing Bingo?
My dad before a surgery to remove a brain tumor. It's a classic!
Dad: Will I be able to play the piano after?
Nurse: Yea of course!
Dad: Oh cool! I can't even do that right now!
Edit: Alright guys! I get it, old post! I just thought it was pretty funny considering the circumstances.
What do you call Raymond's bigoted tumor?
New Joke Format: If you didn't want your child to be a lawyer...
Why did you name them Sue?
> IYDWYC to be a valet...
> why did you name them Parker?
>IYDWYC to be a burgler...
> why did you name them Rob?
Like a tumor
I was born normally, but my little sister had to be born via C section, and whenever my dad talks about this he looks at me and said that I was born right, and then turns to my little sister and says "but you were extracted, like a tumor." Every time.
I just noticed 2 large bumps in my car's battery
Had them tested and one came back positive. I hope it's not terminal.
[True] A while back I was diagnosed with a benign brain lesion. I was distraught. to make light of the situation...
You really have to have a good sense of tumor. Laughter is cancerous.
I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
A friend of mine has more than one brain disease
What is an oncologist's favorite spice?
Tumor-ic
*as told by my 9yo daughter this morning who swore "I DID NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANT!" when wife and I loudly cringed at the punchline.
This subreddit's humor makes me have a brain problem.
I should call it Tumor Humor.
Why does the hypochondriac only buy 10 eggs at a time?
Because there's tumor in a dozen
What do you get when a cell splits into three?
Did you hear about the bingo caller who had a tumor?
Luckily, the tumor was B-9.
I found a tumor in the vending machine.
Don't worry though, it was B9.
I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
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