Tumbleweeds Puns

tumbleweed

Turns out he was smoking Tumbleweed

The other day I was really killing them at the comedy club, but eventually all they did was boo

Popped one on my daughters today, received with blank stares.

I was passing a large piece of scrambled egg over.

Egg crumbles and falls off the fork.

Daughter:argh it fell off!

Me: yeah it had poor int.egg.rity

#Tumbleweed

I was helping my dad hang up some towel racks in the bathroom. I turned on the stud finder and held up to my chest. When it beeped I looked my dad in the eyes and said "I think we've found a stud." He groaned, but I could tell he was proud of me.

If I ever bought a boat, I would call it the "S.S. Un Boat Boat"

(tumbleweed)

I can finally join your ranks!

We were out to dinner last night and my wife was telling a story about how she saw a tumbleweed rolling down the road on her way home from work in downtown Detroit. She thought it very unusual and as she got closer she realized it was just a giant ball of hair blowing down the road, to which I replied...

"Would you say you saw a tumbleWEAVE?"

God it feels good to be hilarious. I need to actually get a kid now so I can keep chasing this high...