But, I won't say it to you because it's NATO business.
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
That was the punchline
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
For example
- I ate my friend's lunch
- I ate my friend's colon
handshakes
But Patrick is the star.
He said no.
Poetry.
A barberqueue
Curiosity killed the cat :(
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
A skele-ton!
He’s assembling his cabinet.
..... oof !!
K9P
Terrible joke, only three stars.
..a duel meaning.
Water. Butane is a lighter fluid
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
I told her to…be patient.
I’m a new dad of a five-month old baby and I was quite proud of this moment.
I said "Yes, dad. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong".
He then asked me if I had heard of Coles Law
"No, dad. What is that one"?
He says, "thinly sliced cabbage".
I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.
She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.
..why would I want two empty glasses..!?
The bartender asks what they'd like.
The executive of Miller orders a Miller Lite, so the bartender gives it to him. The executive of Bud orders a Bud Light, and he's given one. The bartender looks at the CEO of Guinness, and he asks for a Coke. The bartender, bewildered, hands him the Coke and asks why he didn't order a Guinness. In reply, he said,
"I figured if those two weren't drinking beer, then neither would I!"
“thank you for your cervix.”
I told him to keep it up!
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
Kenya guys give me some help here? Cause there's Norway I can think of some after this?
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
I don't know how to deal with it.
I got 1,500,000 matches
….so his doctor gave him medication for Hispanic attacks.
They lactose
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
