Oh the tangled web we weave ...
Found this on "Love advice from the duke of hell" web toon, heavily recommend it
My cousin has a crippling, irrational, fear of being beaten up by Mexicans.
….so his doctor gave him medication for Hispanic attacks.
Out of all the groceries bought that day, all the veggies cowered in fear of the potato who ranted on and demanded respect
Little did they know he was a dic-tater
I have an irrational fear of over-designed buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
What do you call the fear of being alone with the Santa?
To the people who don't take the fear of clowns seriously...
Coulrophobia is no laughing matter.
Son: Holy shit, I finally conquered my fear of ghosts
I suffer from an irrational fear of finding spiders in my raincoat.
One of Santa’s biggest fears is getting stuck in the chimney while delivering presents
Why did the web browser go to the salon?
To get it's thumbnails done
I have a fear of speed bumps
I’m slowly getting over it
What is the fear of giants?
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear...
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
I went to the doctors because I have a fear of palindromes...
The ba***rd prescribed me Xanax.
How do you get over a fear of elevators?
Just take some steps to avoid them.
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
[Dark] Reports came out that suicide rates actually dropped during the pandemic despite people's worst fears. I guess it's true what they say...
I have this pathological fear of two letter words.
I get terrified just thinking about it.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
I have a terrible fear of very small greenhouses
The only thing Flat-Earthers fear...
Simple solution to my fear of the dark
I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there
I have a horrific fear of elevators
I’ve started taking steps to avoid them
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
The therapist said I can get over my fear of buffets....
But first, I've got to want to help myself .
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia. What is fear of nothing at all?
I've decided to seek help for my irrational fear of speed humps...
I'm slowly getting over it.
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
I fear for the Calendar.
It’s days are numbered...
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
The CEO of IKEA was just selected as the Prime Minister of Sweden
He’s assembling his cabinet.
My wife said she has an irrational fear of revolving doors.
I told her she’ll come around, eventually.
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
What do you call a fear of giants?
What is the opposite of isolate?
I went to see a psychiatrist to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.
The bastard put me on Xanax!
I need someone to repair the stone wall in the front of my house, but I don’t have a lot of money.
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
All hail the holy antlers of the deer god
It just occurred to me that the opposite of Artificial Intelligence is …
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
I've a fear of over-engineering of buildings
It's Complex complex complex
I have a fear of speed bumps
But I'm slowly getting over it.
The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
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