The Wash Puns

...so she had to scrub it.

Another day, another Dawn.

She gets too agitated.

Must've been murder suicide

I waited over two hours for an employee to come in to wash my hands before I washed them myself and went home.

So that it wooden sink.

Because they were afraid of crotch-contamination.

He had sticky fingers.

"I'd better let this sink in."

Dawn, it's tough on grease.

Gorge washing ton

-I don't know son, why can't you just use a sponge?

With Tide.

I waited as long as I could but nobody came, so I just washed them myself.

but I don't sink sew.

I replied: 'Probably better to drive the car through.'

I told her a sponge would be better.

When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.

It’ll give you a head start to the day.

So now I’m wanted for money laundering

Let that sink in.

... they got in trouble for using sham poo.

Me: Baby you know you're a criminal now? Her: What? Why? Me: For money laundering...

Her: Go make sure the door is locked

I got my white t-shirt out of the wash and it had turned blue. I told my mum that my jeans had ran in the wash and my dad said "ran where" followed by a massive sigh from me and my mother.

Because he kneaded a poo.

My gf isn't impressed either.

Driving through the car wash with my dad. Leaving slowly through the rapid dry. Dad turns to me and says "Now that's a blowjob."

A guy asked the cashier what is he supposed to do if there's not an employee there to wash his hands...

Dad looks over newspaper: Money laundering is illegal.

I've been too busy to go get an emissions test, so while my mom and I went out to run some errands, my dad did that and also filled my tank and took my car through the wash.

Dad: Did you notice anything different about your car?

Me: No.

Dad: I got you a carwash. I heard that the dirt needs to be changed every 6,000 miles.

Edited because I'm a dummy.

...And my dad said, "is that your laundered money?"