The Elderly Puns

It just goes right over their heads

Dino-SARS

Thank you for coming to my Tết talk.

He had no idea he had started a turf war.

How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?

They made it Up.

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

“It’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

“Ya see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

Fall.

So I pushed her over.

I can't wait to put E.I.E.I.O. on my resume!

Hip-pop!

But the two elderly men were speaking a foreign language.

After a few minutes of silently watching them, my friend finally asks me: "Is that Russian?"

"No," I replied, "it's Czech, Mate."

McCane

I replied "Then stop it..."

We call it "In Depends Dance Day."

You get a little buggy and hoarse.

This son wheels his 80+ year old dad into the pacemaker clinic and the nurse yells "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" The dad reaches out his hand and whispers "with my fingers."