Terrified Puns

Because 2022 is 2020 too

He said, “I hate to be the bear of bad news.”

You should take steps to avoid them

I come from a long line of fathers...

“Are you?” I asked. My patent screamed. “Ohh, I see,” I said. He screamed even louder.

me: i'm terrified of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

But my doctor just said B positive

Dad works from home now.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

Oh you are? I see. Why?

I guess he had no balls.

My wife says my fear's irrational.

Me: Only sometimes.

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Therapist: Tell me why

But she’s a housefly so it’s totally justified.

But I finally decided to grow a pear.

He went to his dad and said I had a nightmare. So the dad said tell me about it. Well I was on a train full of bombs. It was freight-ening

Everyday, she takes steps to avoid them.

I Puma pants

I told him to wait and see

I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Because nature abhors a vacuum.

.....good thing I didn't know about cockroaches!

I told her, "I got you honey, I won't let you down".

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [Screams]

Therapist: I see

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: Are you?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

You have an irrational fear.

So I'm taking steps to avoid them

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

I am going to start taking steps to avoid them

Therapist: Tell me why?

Me: screams

Therapist: you are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: I see.

Me: [screams again]

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

So, I've started taking steps to avoid them.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

It's A Completely Irrational Fear

So I take a few steps to avoid them.

I’m gonna start taking steps to avoid them

So I’m going to take steps to avoid them

Im going to start taking steps to avoid them!

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

You know, I'm going to take steps to avoid them.

I'll be taking steps to avoid them

So I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.