A tempted murder
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dieforpie2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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So tempting...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomespunFlame833
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Saw this at the grocery store.. was very tempted to get it solely because of the name
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hEecCk
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Is tempting to think cat tails are an evolutionary mistake.

In fact they're catastrophies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parandexical
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I became a vegetarian

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

So I said lettuce eat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yanze03
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I am frequently tempted to toss both my dictionary and my thesaurus into my food processor...

...but let's not mince words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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I'm really tempted to spruce up my car with a spoiler

Which one should I pick:

Snape kills Dumbledore or Luke, Darth Vader is your father or ???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubius0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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My professor asked me why did I put only one of the three authors as a reference.

I said that I didn’t feel tempted to do so et. al

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarawatachi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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This bloke just threw a piece of cheese at me, so I said..

..that's mature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pooop_hard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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hey look im streaming! v.redd.it/rhn1gdgxh4o01
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCommonersLife
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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This joke may be cheesy

but it was a gouda tempt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaglord2200XxX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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[request] puns for a character called Beach Hitler

I run a DnD game and am very bad at puns. Like all good writers, though, I thought of a character name that made me laugh and have decided to build a personality around it.

Basically he's a surfer bro nazi. Militantly chill. He's a villain in the game but will hopefully read as still kinda tempting to party with. The only thing I've been able to come up with that has any promise whatsoever is "Third Reichteous."

Thank you, reddit angels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiljo24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...

It's a tempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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I tried to bribe a bunch of crows with some French fries

It was a tempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badger_danger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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More power to them...

Helped my son move and left the U-Haul back door open when empty; didn’t want to tempt anyone from thinking something was in it. He said what if they steal the light?

More power to them I said.

I didn’t even catch my own joke. He had to point it out. He’s got a great future ahead of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TxRam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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I saw an advert for a short-term job in Jamaica.

I thought, "That's tempting."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What do you a call a bunch of fat crows in a donut shop?

A tempted murder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Conference call at work

When we dial in and enter our conference code, it then says, "after the tone, please say your name, followed by the pound sign." I am always tempted to say, obviously, "your name, followed by the pound sign." It being a professional office and all, I can never bring myself to do it. But in this "dad jokes" forum, I think I found my home. Thanks everyone!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Llis1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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