I run out of toilet paper...
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👤︎ u/Dirt_T
📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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So I bought a telegraph machine. And then I bought a second telegraph machine.

Now I'm feeling some reMorse.

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📅︎ Feb 26 2018
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"Lettuce shortage could be tip of the iceberg as heatwave continues" - The Telegraph. That was worthy of the Grauniad.
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📅︎ Jul 01 2018
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While feeding some ducks with kids, more ducks turn up.

Me "there's loads coming, they must have sent a telegraph"

Dad friend "there birds, they tweeted it"

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👤︎ u/Bradaz1
📅︎ Aug 11 2018
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My jokes are expected...But every so often I surprise myself...

I normally telegraph my jokes, but this one was totally natural... Talking to my wife about my sister's upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and how they were going in May...

Wife..."have talked to your sister about crowds because of the opening of Pandora at Animal Kingdom?"

"Yeh, they are going down opening weekend, but skipping Animal Kingdom completely, I bet it's going to be a real zoo there..."

Edit

Obligatory eye roll and groan.

"Holy crap, I didn't even do that on purpose!"

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👤︎ u/lilbandit
📅︎ Mar 25 2017
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