A conversation.
I sent her my trousers to be taken up by 4 inches over 3 months ago
and I still haven't had them back!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey
Suit yourself
Because she had bad blood
The retail shop
and calling it Tailor Swift
Endgame
Is she fast at stitching clothes or something?
Because she’s got BAD BLOOD....🎼
He's very clothes-minded.
A swift tailor.
Because she has bad blood
Because she had "Bad Blood"
(Heard on the radio. Made me smile)
I think i'm finally clean.
Fortunately, she was able to shake it off.
Thinly sliced cabbage.
I guess you could say that was some Swift work.
Don't tell anyone else though, they're trying to keep it Loki
She does Taylor lifts.
I was talking about their wedding last August. Apparently, it was the first time my dad heard me talk about them (or at least paid attention).
Dad: If you say Taylor and Taylor real quick, does that make it... sly grin ...Taylor Swift?
Mom and I: OH MY GOD.
Dad: You called?
This. Sick. Beet.
Dad: "Have you heard the new Taylor Swift album?"
Me: "1989? Yeah."
Dad: "Oh no, it was much more recent than that."
http://imgur.com/gcNcIYP
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
I'm a dad. I came up with this one yesterday.
"I thought Taylor Swift was a same-day hemming service"
I knew you were rubble when I walked in.
He said, "You just gotta shake it off!"
Cobbler Slow.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals!
If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?
I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?
China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.
I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?
I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.
I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.
I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"
I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".
If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?
If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?
My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.
I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.
Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.
Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.
You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"
A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p
... keep reading on reddit ➡Miss3: mummy I want shake shake song (Taylor Swift - shake it off.
Mummy: and mummy wants her breakfast first miss3.
Miss3: and I want a million dollars mummy.
Cheeky little madam!
Does anyone know how I can get hold of Taylor Swift?
One's a sailors' tiff, the other's a Taylor Swift.
She had bad blood
She HAS BAD BLOOD
She HAS BAD BLOOD
Because she had bad blood.
