Hi, im from Austria and im going on holiday with my english girlfriend to tavistock. I was wondering if there are any manchester united friendly pubs in the area?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

London

4 February, 1960

The returns are in!

As the last constituencies report their results, the situation seems to be an astonishing one: the Conservatives have, for the first time since taking power from Labour in the 1947 election, failed to secure a majority in Parliament.

Causes for this situation appear manifold. Prime Minister Anthony Eden has elected to retire due to concerns over his health, leaving the Conservatives caught between those adherents to the second most senior Conservative in the Commons (behind Sir Winston Churchill himself), Rab Butler, and Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, Harold MacMillan. Coupled with the successive international crises that have shaken the Commonwealth since the 1955 election, the Conservatives were in perhaps their weakest state since at least 1945.

Elsewhere in Britain the Liberal Party has enjoyed a shockingly strong resurgence. As the Labour Party clings to its industrial strongholds, held together by union voters and their like, Conservative dominance has not gone unchallenged. Jo Grimond, the energetic new leader of the Liberal Party and Member of Parliament for Orkney and Shetland, has campaigned hard in Scotland in favor of his own more moderated vision for the future: one focused less on trying to match the Americans in their ever-expanding cold war with the Soviet Union and more on uplifting Britain and her peoples-- especially those sometimes looked over by Westminster, those in Scotland and Wales.

The Liberal Party’s message evidently found purchase in Scotland and Wales, too. The two nations were the base of the Liberals’ power in this election, with many Welsh and Scottish constituencies flipping from Conservative to Liberal as the day progressed. Notably, Liberals flipped several seats in Northern Ireland-- Belfast South and North Down in particular. Liberal gains were not wholly halted in England, either, with their strongest English gains in the vicinity of Devon as well as Tavistock.

By morning on the fifth, the impossible appears to have happened: no party had the seats to form a government independently. Representatives of each party have been hard at work throughout the night to negotiate the formation of a coalition government, though most pundits agree it is far more likely that the Conservatives enter into a coalition with the Liberals than Labour being able to join with the Liberals and all other independent MPs. That being said, no agreement has yet been st

Race information

• What? The Tavistock Triathlon - Tristar Start (8-10 yrs)
• When? 12th September 2021
• Finish time? 10 mins 59 seconds.

**Discovering the event:**I was googling local triathlon events on Saturday afternoon (yesterday) to try and get something on my own calendar to help with training toward my first triathlon (a looming 70.3) next summer. I saw an event 45 mins drive away in Tavistock/ Devon the next day, a bit too soon for my own first triathlon, plus childcare would have been tricky ... but I saw there was a kids race too.

I mentioned it to my 8-year-old son Dexter, as we drove to the local beach for a sea swim/surf. He said he'd really REALLY really love to do it.

Once back home, I read up on the start times, triple checked he was sure he wanted to take part then paid the fee and booked his spot. I figured we could find everything he needs for the race in the morning... i.e. wing it.

Training:

Dexter, has been joining me on the odd short run around the local coast paths (maxing out at 3 miles) plus more recently had lots of short sea swimming/snorkelling trips. I can't help but smile when he stands on a rock in an all-black wetsuit holding a bright 28l swim buoy like an uber-cool mini triathlete. Plus he's always enjoyed riding whatever 2nd hand bike we've got off of Facebook marketplace for him. Currently, he's riding a pretty badass looking, but seriously heavy and rusty BMX from the dark ages. (*Because Santa got him a 2nd hand mountain bike that is waaay too big).

Raceday morning:

Early wake up as my wife leaves for work at 7am on a Sunday. I manage to fall back to sleep... Hazahhh!!

8am... Coffee in bed... and I start reading the online race manual.

8.30 am... Dexter turns down my healthy breakfast ideas. Fried egg sandwich it is.

By 10am, I'd walked between our messy garage and front door 100 times, explored cupboards and searched his bedroom drawers trying to piece together the bare minimum of kit needed to make him look at least slightly prepared.

With the bike squeezed into the back of a small Volvo, we then spent 3 mins attempting a quick transition practice by the boot of the car and soon realised he definitely needed his shoes undone and to put his t-shirt on before the helmet.. we then finished packing and set off.

Kit list:

- Knackered rusty, old and heavy BMX - ✔️

- Bike helmet - ✔️

- Overly baggy skull n crossbones swim shorts - ✔️

- Sliders for walk to

ENGLAND

SCOTLAND

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”