I was watching TV with my hispanic girlfriend and on the show we were watching a guy gave a girl a danish (little pastry with fruit). My girlfriend said that while it looked pretty tasty and good, she's not much of a Danish person and I said, "Well, probably because you're hispanic.."
I immediately texted my dad the joke as well.
It was a slice of Life.
It is beelicious.
It's time consuming
..The way old Grammar used to make them.
It's the cream of the crop
Still one of my best so here's the set up.
I take my wife on a cruise for her birthday. Each night during dinner they have a section of things you would not normally try but you're on a cruise so try it. Anyway one night they had braised ox tongue. So I order it and get a side eye from the wife while doing so. It arrives and I had correctly anticipated her question. Anyway here's the conversation...
Braised ox tongue appetizer is set before me. I cut a small piece and put in it my mouth and begin to chew.
Wife: Well, how is it?!?
Me: (slowly looking up) it's... tasty.
W: Did you really order that just to make that joke?
Me: yes, yes I did.
In all actuality it was quite good.
It's tasty. And yummy as well.
Tasty
cal
In a nutshell
What dessert never ends? Apple Pi
"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"
He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It must be the Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite.
At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"
He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"
He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."
"Well," she says: ""Can you now stop and get off me? I'm bloody starving!!".
But then I realized thatβs just nuts...
But its a little deer
I was able to add some bass-il to my tasty sauce.
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My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time. I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly." We are not friends anymore. (True Story)
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
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I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning⦠But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
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Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.
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Why do eggs hate jokes? The answers always crack them up!
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What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"
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Somebody stole all my lampsβ¦. And I couldn't be more de-lighted!
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I once met a pig that did karate⦠We called him Pork Chop!
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Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!
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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!
(Source For All Puns Except The First) https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/
Oh itβs so tasty.
Edit: whoops, I thought this was the meatball sub
I said "Can I bake a pie with you?"
He said " i'm not tasty enough to be in a pie."
Me: "So, what do you want to do for dinner?"
Him: "Eat, lol. You?"
One is tasty, the other's a little bettor
gives a new meaning to the word tasty-cles
They would be Gershin's Rap CDs in Blue.
I can stop any time.
"No phones during dinner," my wife said.
I said, "Of course not. I can't imagine they are very tasty."
Back in the day, we didn't have very tasty soup. Because of this, we put the elbow of the youngoust son in the soup. We did this every time, 30 minutes long. The soup would taste a bit more like meat.
One day, it tasted like sugar.
That's how we discovered he had diabetes.
So last night, I decided to treat my husband to a big dinner. He piles food on his plate and begins to eat. A while later I heard him sigh out in contentment. So I proceeded to ask...
Me: Was it good?
Him: Yeah, I ate my whole plate and now I'm stuffed.
Me: Well you could've left the plate. I didn't look too tasty to me.
I got glared at.
...do they sign a naan-competition agreement?
Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"
So I was on the red-eye flying overseas to meet my buddies for an epic roadtrip adventure. I got me a first class ticket because YOLO and I always wanted to try those convertible seat/beds.
So in the morning the flight attendants serve breakfast, which includes this tasty soup with poached egg in it. They offered drinks and they had champagne so I thought why the hell not.
There were delays and when we finally landed and I got to our meet up place, my mates were already there and gotten the bong out.
They said, "Where were you while we were getting high?"
"I was having..." and I turned to them, took my sunglasses off, and said, "champagne, soup and ova in the sky."
So, both my dad and my little brother got back from trips recently. My dad, from Europe, my little brother, from his band trip up in Boston. As we discussed the trips, my little brother told us all about how the band buys up an entire plane in order to get enough seats.
Him "All the seats were band, it was awesome."
Me "If all the seats were banned, how could you sit there?"
After which I was told to eat in my room.
Must be all the extroversion olive oil!
https://imgur.com/a/D0ucj
Bonus: there's some tasty irony if you can spot it.
