Why aren't statisticians particularly funny?

Because the median function usually suffices. No need for its complement, the comedian function.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukaseder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.

That has left scientists scratching their heads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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My wife asked if I wanted to eat some of the chicken on the barbecue.

I told her that a chair would probably suffice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What did the dog achieve at university?

A pedegree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhodiumTheGreat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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The phone was ringing for a while and I eventually got up to get it.

"Are you going to answer that call anytime today?" yelled my wife.

"No," I replied. "Probably a simple 'hello' will suffice."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Got some of my youth group

I'm currently on a weekend away with a local youth group near me since they needed more leaders. Someone explained to me that there was a leak in one of the boys bedrooms that needed fixing. I exclaimed "a leak? Why are they taking vegetables to their rooms?"

Suffice to say groans were had all around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmashMetal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2015
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So, it's 3am, I'm at Denny's...

The bill comes, and after a night of heavy drinking all anybody has left is loose change.

We (about 6 people) split up the bill and count our change onto the table.

Waitress comes by, sees that were settling the bill, and she says, "do you guys need any change?"

Without missing a beat my bearded husky inebriated friend returns, "yes, dimes and nickles will suffice"

The waitress was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5eight13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
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A little road trip humor...

Getting closer to our destination, I mention to my wife that I need to go pee. She asks, "Can you hold it?" I cup my hands and say, "I suppose maybe for a little bit, but I think it'll leak out." Suffice it to say that she retracted the courteous offer and made me wait. Worth it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmkenny1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Card Pun

The day was raining like fish blown up by dynamite. The only jacket I had for the situation was fire Red with layered protection from such fish. I'm going to my college computer lab, trying to get my 24 hours of time in there done. It requires you to sign in with your student ID.

"May I see you card?" the teacher asks.

"Sure... So, how much time do I have allotted?" I asked after she signed me in.

"Huh? Oh, wait, sorry, can I see your card again? "

"Wait, I don't own a Cardigan"

Being an English teacher, she smiled and caught it quickly, "No, your card, but your jacket might suffice otherwise."

Edit: This might be too much setup for a stiff joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonmind
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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