He's okay though, this is Hollywood, it was a faux knee arrow.
Just something I ass pyre to
But today I've fallen off the wagon.
... like moUths to a flame.
During the funeral, his mother walks towards the director and says,
"Jesus died for your scenes."
She just doesn’t have the balls anymore
He always gets kung flu.
He was an aquabat.
It's wheelie cool
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
The circus is filled with cunning stunts
One has a cunning array of stunts.
(Thanks, grandad)
I was on a walk with my Dad last night and our conversation reached the topic of James Bond films.
Dad: "I've been to the place where they filmed the crocodile stunt in Live and Let Die."
Me: "Jamaica?"
Dad: "No, she came of her own accord"
I was getting dropped off at school with my now wife by my now father-in-law. There was a little person on campus who happened to pass in front of our car while smoking a cigarette as we were getting ready to get out.
>Wife: "There's the LP who is in my African American studies class. She always has a cigarette in her hand."
>Father-in-law: "She should be careful; it may stunt her growth."
>Me: smirk
Dad: What's the difference between a circus and the rockettes? one is a cunning display of stunts the other is a stunning display of .....
whats the difference between the Panama Canal and Hillary Clinton? one's a busy ditch the others a dizzy .....
