Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve
He certainly has plenty of experience
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to “square up on the ball”
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?
Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...
So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.
"What this, Ed?"
"A line?" the boy replied.
"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.
I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.
How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?
Because he said he had him cornered.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Two rich dudes were hanging out in a bar. One said to the other, "Hey, you wanna come to my square island?"
The other responded "Four shore!"
The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...
Finally found the square root
Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"
Because you're not around.
What’s the square root of Orange Julius?
We don’t square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!
Why is the circle more trustworthy than the square?
Because he doesn’t have an angle
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.
They really dropped the ball this time.
Do you know where the expression, “be there or be square” comes from?
If you’re not there, you’re not around.
You matter. That is, until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared...
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the Mayo.
Which state has the most streets per square mile?
Son: Math sucks so much. My teacher wants me to find the square root of I Don’t Give a Crap.
Dad: Easy! Next time, just tell your teacher I Don’t Give Two Shits.
Son: Aren’t the pyramids really just squares?
Me: Yeah, but only up to a point
I guess we can call the music in a segment of a popular Square Enix game...
For Halloween im gonna dress up as a square box with the movie poster for up on the box
I guess you can call it a square up
Teaching a 3 year-old the difference between a circle and square is pointless
How did the triangle kill the square?
My wife said “You can’t change the square-root of a negative.”
She said I couldn’t..... but i can.
The villagers gathered as the guards dragged the blacksmith through the town square.
One of the villagers turned and asked another, "what happened?"
She told him, "he's been arrested for forgery."
LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer!
reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePr…
I accidentally downloaded the Square app for store owners instead of the one for personal use
My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."
I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square
They always drop the ball.
The worlds largest bounce house is now touring the U.S.A. At 10,000 square feet, the house is large enough to live in.
The rent is pretty expensive but that's mostly due to inflation.
A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.
I hear there aren't enough bathrooms for the NYE celebration in Time Square.
They really dropped the ball on that one.
The giant Dumbo ad playing at Times Square on new year's eve said "Happy New Year"...
It should have said "Happy New Ear" instead.
My girlfriend called me a square for always following the speed limit.
I told her that I was more like a circle, squares are too edgy for me.
TIL the square root of Pai...
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
My girlfriend is the square root of - 100
She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100
A solid 10, but also imaginary
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.
They really dropped the ball this year.
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