Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!

See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsozso01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve

He certainly has plenty of experience

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DigThisMyBrother
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to β€œsquare up on the ball”

She replied β€œthe ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her β€œno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says β€œI’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsjorgehernandez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?

Root-ing two-ting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangerBatman01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.

It was unreal.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?

Because he said he had him cornered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltyquill
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?

Because of his contra band...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Two rich dudes were hanging out in a bar. One said to the other, "Hey, you wanna come to my square island?"

The other responded "Four shore!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedBluemann
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...

So I shouted β€œI”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmpersand
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Finally found the square root
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyk0th
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"

Because you're not around.

πŸ‘︎ 525
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acanadianbloake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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What’s the square root of Orange Julius?

We don’t square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LumpadBFarby
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Why is the circle more trustworthy than the square?

Because he doesn’t have an angle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this time.

πŸ‘︎ 424
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know where the expression, β€œbe there or be square” comes from?

If you’re not there, you’re not around.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanjerkins
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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You matter. That is, until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared...

... then you energy.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patentpunk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the Mayo.

That’s Cole’s Law.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets per square mile?

It's Rhode Island.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Son: Math sucks so much. My teacher wants me to find the square root of I Don’t Give a Crap.

Dad: Easy! Next time, just tell your teacher I Don’t Give Two Shits.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Son: Aren’t the pyramids really just squares?

Me: Yeah, but only up to a point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetinggoskrraa
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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I guess we can call the music in a segment of a popular Square Enix game...

Kingdom Hearts 3DM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clapton_Coil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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For Halloween im gonna dress up as a square box with the movie poster for up on the box

I guess you can call it a square up

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Teaching a 3 year-old the difference between a circle and square is pointless
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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How did the triangle kill the square?

With a hypote-noose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soosoos19926
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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My wife said β€œYou can’t change the square-root of a negative.”

She said I couldn’t..... but i can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doesitring
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The villagers gathered as the guards dragged the blacksmith through the town square.

One of the villagers turned and asked another, "what happened?"

She told him, "he's been arrested for forgery."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer! reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePr…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcir_semirg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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I accidentally downloaded the Square app for store owners instead of the one for personal use

My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticommando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square

They always drop the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisGuy21321
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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The worlds largest bounce house is now touring the U.S.A. At 10,000 square feet, the house is large enough to live in.

The rent is pretty expensive but that's mostly due to inflation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterof80smetal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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I hear there aren't enough bathrooms for the NYE celebration in Time Square.

They really dropped the ball on that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
The giant Dumbo ad playing at Times Square on new year's eve said "Happy New Year"...

It should have said "Happy New Ear" instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewWhirledOrder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend called me a square for always following the speed limit.

I told her that I was more like a circle, squares are too edgy for me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL the square root of Pai...

...is money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clearkryptonite
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is the square root of - 100

She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, but also imaginary

πŸ‘︎ 935
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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