I told my son that I wanted his room to be spotless as cow teats

Udderly spotless

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFooShus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
If I get a dog, I’d name it fear.

So if I lost it I’d be fearless.

My friend also wants a dog, but he’s going to call it spot.

He’s going to keep it strictly outdoors, that way his house will always be spotless.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My gf's cat is named Spot...

so when we were searching the house and couldn't find him, I told her the house was spotless!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HackettMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
I Dadjoked my parents so badly, my dad didn't get it at first.

Background: last night we had a random insurgence of ants invade our bathroom. We successfully killed most of them with spray and bait, but it left tiny ant carcasses all over the bathroom floor. This morning my mom cleaned the entire bathroom leaving it spotless.

Mom and dad are now relaxing in the living room after mom has cleaned the bathroom:

Me: mom, I really appreciate your cleaning the bathroom, but now our whole family is going to get sick.

Mom: why?

Me: you got rid of all our anti-bodies

Mom groans, I give her a huge grin. My dad didn't get it at first, but after my mom explained it he groaned and said "I'm proud I raised a daughter with such a great sense of humor"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EliseMcg
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.