I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I buy a new clock every time a new social movement forms.
Because the times, they are a-changin'.
What happens when people refuse to social distance?
I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site.
He's calling it "Faithbook".
If all social media came to an end
It would be post apocalyptic
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
The ocean must have really bad social anxiety.
It never says hi. It just waves
Social distancing has led to Hooters offering delivery to your door.
They’re changing their name to Knockers.
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.
This is as close as I could get.
Social Distancing Pickup Lines
- If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
- Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
- Can't spell virus without U and I.
- Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
- I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
- Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
- Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.
credit: some facebook post i saw.
The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
The Social Security Administration
I love social media, I can offend thousands of people all at once...
Back in my day, I had to do it one at a time.
I'm thinking about starting a social media network for chickens
But not as a full-time job, just as a way to make hens meet.
What do social media and dancing former vice presidents have in common?
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.
I did it to make hens meet.
This is the peak of my social life
Did you know Bennie and The Jets were the first group to social distance ?
Sloths are the most social animals.
They always want to hang out.
A Police officer called Roxanne told me how to social distance,
She said "don't stand, don't stand so close to me"
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
For my birthday, my wife got me a book about social media.
It was a sweet gesture, but I already reddit.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
I make my dog wear shoes at social events
So nobody notices his forepaws.
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.
They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......
Hey Kids, wanta hear a dadjoke about Social Security?
Ah, nevermind, you probably won't get it anyways?
Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!
Because he is the supreme ruler.
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
I'm really sick of all the jokes about socialism. It's just not funny.
Unless everyone gets them.
I feel like I've regressed to an earlier age because of all the social distancing.
What did the socially distanced yoga instructor say to her students
Nama stay six feet apart from people
I think my daughter is a social vegan
A girl asked me if I was antisocial....
I said I don't care if others are social as long as they leave me out of it
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media.
Everyone keeps telling me to practice social distancing,
but when am I supposed to stop practicing and actually do it?
I tried my best to come up with a joke about social distancing.
But this is as close as I could get.
I tried very hard to come up with a joke about social distancing.
But this is as close as I could get.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.
This is as close as I could get.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing
But this is as close as I could get
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