Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced…
Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?
It's too high a price 'toupee.'
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Pansexuals shouldn’t come out of the closet
They should come out of the pantry
Someone told me that women shouldn't deliver the mail
You shouldn't fart in an Apple store,
They don't have Windows...
Sheep shouldn't eat sweets
You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math…
Why shouldn’t you trust watermelons
Why shouldn't you call anyone average
Why shouldn't you trust escalators?
They're always pushing you to go in their direction.
Why shouldn't sandwiches have kids?
Because they are in bread.
I knew i shouldn't have eaten the seafood,
I shouldn't have put those wooden shoes in sink.
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it would be pointless!
You shouldn't trust atoms
Why shouldn't you wear Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
My son hates my dadjokes. This just happened: we were watching Marvel Avengers and I said, "why is he called Thor ? He shouldn't be". My son asked why not.
"He should be called Hi-Ki. Because he is Lo-Ki's elder brother".
He nearly cried.
Shouldn’t breast implants . . .
I shouldn't have had that leftover sushi...
There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water
Number one, and number two
Why shouldn't blind people sky dive??
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work,
But it was a whisk I was willing to take.
The looting and rioting going on today is terrible, but if you're a man you shouldn't find it funny.
Because manslaughter is a crime.
You shouldn't go around saying how everyone should have a job and their own accommodation.
Do you know who shouldn’t have house warming parties?
Eskimos.
If they have a house warming party their house will melt.
I guess I know why you shouldn't tell a kleptomaniac a pun.
They always take things literally.
Why shouldn't anyone tell a chemistry joke?
Because you might not get a reaction.
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
It shouldn't be Reddit coins
I heard that during this virus outbreak, we shouldn't use the same faucets as other people.
It's something called social distance sink.
Why shouldn’t you drink eight cokes?
>!Because you can throw seven up.!<
>!Credit to my wife, so /r/momjokes. She just told me this laughed more than I should have.!<
Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl shouldn’t be a metaphor for pooping
It should be a metaphor for constipation
Wife: we shouldn’t curse around the kids anymore
Dad: what should I say instead bull-
Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.
Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore
I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
Why shouldn't you eat entrails?
A woman in labor started shouting, “Shouldn’t, wouldn’t, can’t don’t.” The doctor turned to the husband and said,
“Don’t worry, they’re only contractions.”
Why shouldn’t you give a vampire a supplement?
You don’t want to vitamin...
When they crunch the numbers, shouldn’t they get smaller?
Why shouldn't you tell knock knock jokes to chefs?
They don't have the thyme for that, just cumin.
You really shouldn't make fun of overweight people
They have enough on their plates
You shouldn’t work in archeology
They say you shouldn’t trust the media because that influences how you see the world...
In reality, you can’t trust light bulb manufacturers because they only show you what you want to see.
Parents shouldn't have kids after 40.
I mean, 40 kids is probably already too many.
What's yellow and something you definitely shouldn't drink?
Shouldn't Frozen II be called Frozen Also?
Do you know why you shouldn't fight the music?
My dad said my friend shouldn't become a funeral director
Opinion: Dad jokes shouldn't be painful.
Except for the punchline.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Everytime I do something I shouldn't do my dad force me to scroll through this subreddit
He calls it: "The Punishment"
Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?
Because they're lion cheetahs.
Do you know why you shouldn't eat Lion meat?
Why shouldn't you gamble with a cattle farmer?
They are always raising the steaks!
google shouldn't be trackin us like this
back to science class - Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
Why shouldn't you trust an atom?
Because they literally make up everything.
I knew I shouldn’t have rubbed ketchup into my eyes
But that’s Heinz sight for you
you shouldn't date spirits
You shouldn't be sad....
because sad backwards is das, and das not good.
Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?
Because you’ll get Jurass kicked..
My boss warned me that I shouldn’t blow the whistle in the office anymore. He gave me one last chance.
But unfortunately, I blew it
You shouldn't wear two monocles at once.
You'd just make a spectacle of yourself.
Why shouldn't you use “Beef stew” as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why shouldn't you wear wooden shoes in the bathroom?
You might clog the toilet.
You really shouldn't watch any horror movie today
Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
Why shouldn’t you play board games on safari?
Because there are always cheetahs.
I realized I shouldn’t have rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
I guess Heinz sight is 20/20.
Some foods shouldn't mix, unless it's a pun-wich -- from r/AskReddit
My doctor said I shouldn't listen to music so loud
Kung Fu Panda shouldn’t have been set in China
He really belongs in Poland.
Courtesy: my 10 year old.
Why shouldn't you wake a crustacean up early in the morning?
They're always a bit crabby
Shouldn’t they be making stuff fall, not making puns?
They say you shouldn't mix seafood with dairy, so sorry if this one is cheesy.
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But I’m just grasping at straws here.
A lady was in labor with our first child when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"
The doctor said to the husband, "don't get too alarmed... She's just having contractions."
You shouldn't fart in the Apple Store
because they have no windows
Why shouldn't you write with an unsharpened pencil?
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
If “womb is pronounced “woom”, “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, then then shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced
“BOOM”
I hope that blew your minds
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pen?
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work....
But it was a whisk I was willing to take.
When my mom was in labor she suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
My dad said to the doctor, “don’t worry those are just contractions”
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
What are the top two reasons you shouldn’t drink water from a toilet?
Number 1)...and number 2)
You shouldn't watch any horror movies today
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
I just realized I shouldn’t have rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
I guess Heinz sight is 20/20.
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