Schutterij Puns

If there is one thing that defines the Low Countries, it is it's towns. In the rest of Europe you will walk through pastoral manor after pastoral manor, watching sturdy peasants till the soil and feudal lords out hunting in their personal forest. There are of course towns, and large ones at that - Paris, Prague, and Vienna would awe any traveller with their size. But what was different about the Flemish and Dutch towns were their relationship with their suzerain and the shear density of them. The nobility in other parts of Europe could largely treat the towns harshly, levying taxes and enforcing Royal monopolies at will. Here the will of the towns mattered, if a king wanted something the towns had, he needed their consent. Though on many occasions the titled lords would bypass finding agreement with the towns, and on many occasions he would be met with defiance, refusal, and revolt. The Low Countries were somewhat notorious for how troublesome they were to govern.

Yet when it came to matters of warfare the towns had few unwashed peasants to conscript into a levy. Neither did they have the lesser gentry to transform into gallant royal knights. What they had were the Schutterij.

Half town militia, half guild, these units were semi-volunteers from the urban citizenry of each city who served for several years. Weavers, brewers, butchers, and all sorts of craftsmen would train together under the command of a wealthy officer from the town usually once or twice month. They were grouped according to the weapon they used, Pike, crossbow or bow. On an empty field near the city shooting exercises, sparing, and some drilling would be conducted for training. A large nearby building would serve as the militia's headquarters, meeting areas and exercise hall. For the rest of month they would take shifts acting as the city's guard and fire brigade, though it times of crisis such as war or revolt, they would be mustered into a proper defensive military unit.

There was also an important social component to these militia as well. As the soldiers were not just comrades in arms, but also neighbors and friends, it was very common for them to "network" at the militia headquarters to discuss local issues, politics and often share a drink. This lead to them being popularly called the "Schuttersgilde" or "Shooters Guild." Although not an official guild, its members treated it as one. It's members paid dues to the guild which could be spent at the discretion of the captain. Ofte

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

He lost May

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

I have a complex complex complex.