A list of puns related to "Sarcastically"
He said "I guess that makes me a farmer."
I look at him, bewildered.
"A corn farmer."
"well, this way you don't have to have read-it."
(this genuinely happened about a minute ago, he actually left the house)
Me: You're absolutely right. I'm the captain of the ship.
Girlfriend: What ship?
Me: The relationship.
Yeah man, they've got some sweet beats.
I was told I was intelligen’t
Crimea River
He liked to pump irony.
I'm not buying it.
It’s a tire
Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.
I'm sorry for the cringe...
“No I Kant”
A smart ass doctor
He makes the best wry bread.
You're on a roll, aren't ya?!
It's starting to wear a bit thin now.
He really needed an attitude adjustment.
The forget-me ... NOT!
"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!"
Her: I want the same thing for breakfast that we had yesterday.
Me picking her up: I want hugs.
Her in a very sarcastic tone: Are you going to eat the hugs?
Her: Yeah, I've actually been dancing since I was two years old!
Me: Wow, thats so impressive. You must be so tired by now!
Groans were had by both parties
Referred to as the Red Hot Chili Papers
I was being sarcastic
Me: How did you do on the muscles and bones test?
Son: I mixed up the cranium and the skull.
Me: That was a boneheaded mistake.
Son: (Sarcastic) Ha ha.
I guess he didn't find my joke humerus.
...until today when I caught him texting with both his thumbs.
Being the sarcastic smart are son of his, I asked " when did you learn to type with both thumbs?" he smiled and happily replied: "The day I learned I was Ambi'text'rous".
He laughed for about 5 minutes and proceeded on to tell mum and my brother about his funny pun
Good one dad.
We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.
Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."
Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"
Her: (groans)
She was walking down the hall towards her door, and I was leaving to go move my laundry from the washer to the dryer. Right as she was walking into her apartment, she said, "Have fun doing laundry!"
I sarcastically replied, "Oh im sure I'll have loads."
She backtracked out of her door just to give a sickened and irritated look.
I am so proud right now.
I was at work, sarcastically saying how much I love sweeping. Stoned coworker says "..We should just call you Cinderella then.."
I said "If the shoe fits!"
I'm away at university and my dad calls me up while I'm doing last minute homework:
Dad: What are you up to?
Me: Just finishing an essay about Dickens' Hard Times for class. I'm really busy, can I call you back in a couple hours?
Dad: Oh, that sounds like a hard time!
Me: (Sarcastically) Well it's not the MOST fun I've ever had.
Dad: (long pause followed by a sigh) Are you having a hard time with the joke?
Me: No, (chuckles) I get it dad... but I've got to go!
Dad: You sound like you're having a hard time.
Me: Dad, I got it.
Dad: (scoff) Ahhh, I'm just giving you a hard time!
Me: Dad.... I've got so much work to do.
Dad: I'll let you go then; glad to be of help during this hard time. Good luck on your essay! (hangs up)
Me to my boyfriend: Earlier today a dog chased me on rollerskates!
Boyfriend: (sarcastically) Was the dog really on rollerskates?
My bf recently told me about this subreddit, purely because my dad is one of the dadjokiest dads we know. Today, I finally got to document a stellar example of his fatherly humor.
While making a sarcastic FB post regarding furniture I can't afford...
[discussing via text what movie to see this weekend]
her (sarcastically): Let's see 50 Shades of Grey.
me: haha I almost jokingly suggested the same thing to you.
her: GREY minds think alike!
me: Auuuugghhhhhhhh
I've never been close with my dad, but he got me good this morning. My band got a short review online, and the first image is another band's picture of shirtless, tattooed dudes.
Dad (sarcastically): Is that you guys, half-naked and tattooed up?
Me: Ha, yeah that's us. Nobody's ever noticed till now.
Dad: I know, I barely even recognized you.
I walked in the house after work yesterday and my sister was wearing her "I voted!" sticker on her cheek. I said to her, "You voted!" and she sarcastically replied, "How could you tell?"
"It's written all over your face!"
My mum complained that my dad took a photo of her, whilst she was wearing her "kitchen cleaning glasses" as they look bad. I sarcastically offer to get her car cleaning glasses instead as they're clearly more fashionable.
My dad on the other hand stands there with his fake concerned/confused. When i ask what's wrong, he asks with a smug grin on his face "Why would you use glasses to clean the kitchen? Surely a mop or cloth would be more practical".
We all left the room.
Referring to the news channel's explanation of the tornado warning in Sacramento, CA, my dad yelled sarcastically from downstairs:
"Half dollar sized hail!...how much does a piece of hail cost?!"
I could practically hear the look on his face when I didn't respond.
Her: Clothes
Me: (sarcastic laugh)
So I work in a distribution wearhouse for an orange chainsaw company and I work there with my dad.
So a few of the guys in the wearhouse like to wear toques, a winter hat that covers your ears for you non-Canadians, and my dad mentioned this to me as we're heading off to lunch so I say, "well, I guess there are toque kinds of people...". Even my dad groaned.
One of the afore mentioned toque wearing guys was picking a particularly big order consisting of mostly gloves, and he starts complaining that there are too many damn gloves in this order. So I sarcastically replied, "I bet you just gloved picking that order." He just turned around and walked away and didn't speak to me the rest of the day.
We were visiting another church's service, and helped pick up folding chairs afterward. Darrel (my grandfather-in-law) took a while to emerge from the storage closet where all the chairs were going, and when he finally came out, my pastor asked sarcastically, "Are you done?!"
His response: "No! I'm Darrel!"
I was handling some raw chicken and my father comes in and says, "I hope you plan on washing your hands before anything else." I sarcastically responded, "No, I love salmonella."
To which he exclaimed, "Sam and Ella? How've they been?"
In the car. Husband(H) and son are having an in-depth conversation about LoL skins. Daughter(D) chimes in. D: Are you guys talking about LoL? H: Yup. D: Wow ( with very sarcastic undertone ) H: ( with out missing a beat ) Not WoW, LoL. Groans all around.
Setting: Watching my father struggle with his skiing gear as I met him on the mountain for some Christmas runs.
Me- sarcastically Dad, You are so strong.
Father- Aw, honey, thank you! But smell isn't everything.
~~
I've heard this one many times, but not for a few years. Forgot it's awesomeness. Merry Christmas to Dads and their jokes and the kids who repeatedly hear them.
Her: We should get going.
Me: Hold on, I want to open this online bank account before they close.
Her: <sarcastic> Oh yeah, cause they close early on Saturday
Me: Yeah, they have to head out early to beat the internet traffic.
Dad:"Hey, do you want me to get anything from the store?"
Me:"Sure can you get me some bread please?"
Him:"Give me some dough, and I'll get you some bread!
Proceeded by sarcastic groan/laughs.
[James Bond theme plays on TV in the living room]
Dad: You recognize that, Josh?
Me: Yeah, because James Bond and Thanksgiving go hand-in-hand.
Dad: I know!
Me: I was being sarcastic.
Dad: Why?
Me: How does it have anything to do with Thanksgiving?
Dad: Oh come on, a lot of families Bond on Thanksgiving!
About 5 metres. Oh haha... (sarcastic) How long is it? About 5 inches.
Context: Were picking up my sister at the airport (she was on a Europe trip with her friends) and my we were wondering where her friends' parents are (one of them is Indian).
My dad: "There not here because they're smart. They know it will take them 30 minutes to get through customs, so they're not rushin' "
Me: "No they're not, they're Indian,"
He gave me a sarcastic laugh.
Girlfriend: I think I'll grab Wendy's for dinner...
Me: Well then what will she eat?
Girlfriend: <groan followed by a very sarcastic "har har">
My father and I got in an argument today...
Dad: Your mom fought with me because I said, "Women should stop having babies after 35..."
Me: "Well yeah, autism becomes a huge risk if women are pregnant at that age or older. Why was there a disagreement?"
Dad: "Because why would she want 36 kids..."
Long pause and then sarcastic laughter and slow clap.
Me: Of all the Yu's in China I'm sure there's no one called Pleezing
Her: What do you mean?
Me: There is no pleasing you
*Cue sarcastic moaning
When my dad sees a sign for a car show and gets excited.
Brother (being sarcastic): They'll probably close it as soon as you arrive.
Dad: Doesn't matter, im like the Jackson Five.
Brother: How?
Dad: Because I'll be there!
Me: Oh my god, dad...
My mom, little brother and his friends were playing Uno...
Dad comes in:
I played Uno...
ONCE.
Family: sarcastic laughter commences
This morning my mom was talking to my girlfriend about our little girl. She was born a bit early, and she was tiny anyway (2lbs 9 oz at birth). She just grew out of her preemie diapers (woohoo!) and they wanted to keep one to document how small she was. My mom's been doing these for some time so she's had this kinda stuff around forever. She's planning on putting something together chronicling my baby's life, and the progression of her size is obviously important.
The following conversation ensued...
>Her: I guess I'll stick one of these [diapers] in my scrapbooking stuff.
>Me: Well, I guess in this case it'd be more like crapbooking stuff.
Small amounts of groans and sarcastic laughter ensued.
I was in Elementary School at the time of this joke, and it still makes me chuckle thinking back on it. My teacher had us running a couple of laps around the school's grassy field. I always had breathing problems, what I'm assuming is mild asthma although it's never been diagnosed. I ran up to the teacher after running a few minutes and told him I lost my breath. He asked something along the lines of, "Well do you want help finding it?" He made the entire class search the ground for my breath. One equally sarcastic child brought me the empty wrapper to a Rice Crispy treat. Oh how I loved that teacher.
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