It was charged with battery
Flatman and Ribbon.
A crackhead
Itโs a vicious cycle.
Iโve never been more tired in my life!
It's a running gag
I notice the woman is hysterical and the rabbit, well let's just say he's had better days.
I think to myself "Can I render first aid ? "
Then it hits me, I can fix this.
I go to the boot of my car and grab a can of spray. So I spray this onto the rabbit and sure as shit he jumps up and hops away.
As he is hopping away every ten steps he stops looks backs and waves at us !
He repeats this until he eventually was out of sight.
The women then asks me "what was that can of spray you used?"
I look and it is hair restorer with a permanent wave.
I wish to add no Rabbits were harmed in the telling of this story
Now sheโs my flat-mate.
Itโs a vicious cycle.
A toe truck
Hearing it run over your pillow...
He goes to court and is sentenced to death by the electric chair. Before going to the chair he asks for a banana, it is given to him and he sits down in the chair, the operator presses the button and... The chair does nothing, so he is let free. The next day he runs over two people, he once again is sentenced to death but this time he asks for two bananas. He is given them, when the operator presses the button, the chair does nothing, so he is set free once more. The next day he runs over three people, he is sentenced to death a third time but the operator says to him, no more bananas, this time you will die. So he sits down on the electric chair and the operator presses the button, but nothing happens, so for the final time, he is set free. Later he tells his friend, "it wasn't about the bananas, I'm just a bad conductor"
It makes me tired
I sent his family my Gondolences.
Hertz
The dad lies there in his last moment. The only thing that is going through his head is a โGoodyearโ. He looks up at his wife who is holding his hand. In his dying breath, he says, Iโm โtired.โ
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
He must wheelie hate me (โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
Because he did nazi that comings.
Creamed her.
Caw the Cawps!
Backstory - my daughter woke up this morning telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because we kept forgetting something at home, along the way running over more crows.
I told her this joke, she didn't think it was too funny. My other daughter thought it was funny though. Now she keeps walking around saying "Caaaaw the caaaaaawps" in a high crowy voice. I'll regret telling her the joke by the end of the day.
"L'Orรฉal!"
It was very freightening
"Wow," he said, "You must have been flying."
A man sees a celebrity he admires on the street and runs over to him but doesnโt take the hint that the celebrity wants to be alone and is irritable. After about 10 minutes of following him and shouting at him the man yells, โI love this guy, heโs the shit!โ The celebrity finally has enough and punches the man in the face... And thatโs when the shit hit the fan
...and gets out of the car immediately to see if the pedestrian is alright.
Driver: "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Pedestrian: "I'm fine, I just feel a little tired now"
They are both crustaceans.
Guac, guac!
โCurses! Foil again!โ
They're all Crushed-Asians!
(Crustaceans)
would you have a wake?
It sucks.
"national kid"
My brother in the background loudly cringes from overdose of Dad
Me: "Did you write that one Dad?"
"yeah"
I hear he was a little tired.
Flatman and Ribbon
Flatman and Ribbon.
