When my wife and I role play, she likes to pretend I'm a rope

she wants me to be extra knotty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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The hardest role an actor can play is that of a mascot.

They really have to get into their character.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Me: I was once in a play called β€œBreakfast in Bed.” Her: Did you have a big role?

Me: No, just toast and coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Experiments show that olfactory perception of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction...

Love is blind, but it has a great sense of smell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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So, my girlfriend and i were doing some role play.

I was Santa she was a naughty girl. 'Unfortunately you've been a naughty girl and you're on Santas naughty list and wont be receiving any presents this year.' 'oh no Santa i really want a present i'll do anything to get on your good list' 'oh i dont know if there is a way i'm afraid' you're just going to have to bend over my knee and take your spank now.' bare butt spanks occur 'Please Santa let me on your good list I'm begging you' 'Well come to think of it there is a Claus in the contract' .... Then realising the accidental Santa Claus pun I made I had to be sure she got it. 'Get it! CLAUS HHAHAHA CLAUS LIKE SANTA CLAUS HAHAHAHHAA' yeah she didnt find it as funny as me... No sex for me..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p4nz3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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An attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline...

"I can't," the lawyer said. "I'd be dis Bard."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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DC and Warner Bros are creating a new Wonder Man movie

They even got a new actor to play the main role: Guy Gadot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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How about that actor who played the role of a U-haul truck?

I heard his performance was moving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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My wife had to double check she wasn't pregnant.

We were sitting on a little bench, watching birds going crazy over some bread that had been left on the ground. "I wonder who gave the little birds those rolls", she said.

"Probably the casting director."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niflhe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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I have been learning to play the guitar...

It plays an instrumental role in my recovery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/um0da
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I'm taking an improv class [shaggy dog]

and today, we were playing a game of "Yes, Let's!" If you're unfamiliar, that's a group improv exercise where one person says "Let's do a thing!" and everybody else replies "Yes, let's!" and then proceeds to act out the scene. After acting out said scene, somebody freezes, then everybody freezes, and then someone else starts one.

In this case, it was "Let's go to a Michael Jackson tribute concert!" Now, we'd just been coached to assume distinct roles in an attempt to construct a coherent narrative, and so I, as an awkward, scrawny, blond white man, slipped effortlessly into the role of a shitty Michael Jackson impersonator. And I must have been doing something right, because the rest of the group quickly formed a scene as the audience, security, and crew, and stupidity ensued as I sucked at being Michael Jackson for all I was worth.

A few people started heckling, and then one of the audience members barged past security and mimed punching me in the head, whereupon I dramatically spun and dropped to the floor with a resounding THUD (knowing how to fall is a useful skill). The reaction was about a third laughs, a third stage-gasps, and a third just confusion. But I did get a few compliments after the exercise on my impression and my theatrics.

So I'd say that was a pretty big hit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
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Wimbledon is on again

Watching the Vesely vs. Berdych match, both are from the Czech Republic.

Dad: well I guess he's playing his Czech mate

This man is my role model

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartanc9657
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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My proudest dad joke yet

We were talking about how Tom Selleck was originally offerered to play Indiana Jones.

Friend: He turned down the role because he was working on Magnum PI

Me: He also turned down the 'roll' because he didn't want to get too full before dinner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/idontfrikkincare
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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Oh you

After a piano recital my mom and dad start talking about me being a role model Mom: you know, all these younger kids really look up to him when he plays Dad: well of course, he is taller Mom: ... Dad: ohh how do I do it every day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slapthemonkey0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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A husband goes home from work... (xpost r/Jokes)

...to find his house with the lights dimmed down and candles surrounding the bed in the bedroom. He finds his wife there, laying abroad with sexy panties and a pink bra, and her bangs covering her left eye. She smiles. "Tonight," she says. "Is going to be the sexiest and most passionate night of your life, sweetie." The husband smiles as his wife gets up and unties his tie for him, and unbuckles his pants. He can't wait. "Lets try role playing." she says. "I'll be your slutty little daughter, and you'll be my father who needs to teach me... discipline..." He grins widely, liking where this is going. His wife grabs him and pulls him down to the bed. She whispers in his ear. "I'm so horny..." The husband enjoys this and decides to follow along with the role playing. He then whispers back in her ear. "Hi, horny. I'm dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatyMac
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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So my dad asked "were there dice in the play Alice in Wonderland?"...

...And my mom says "no, there were cards, why?"

To which my dad responds, "oh that's too bad. If they needed an understudy, the director could say 'And tonight, the role of dice will be played by...'"

My mom just gave me the "why did I marry this guy" look. It was a nice moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ojbway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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They're making a movie about symphonic composers.

It was leaked in an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger. When asked what role he would play, Schwarzenegger replied; "I'll be Bach."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/donteatpoop
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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Was visiting my parents the other night and watched Grimm.

After reading an article stating that Sergeant Drew Wu was a key role in the show.

Me: So I was reading how Wu plays a really key part in the show according to this article I read. What do you think?

Dad: Ya, he's the Wu that holds everything together.

Me: 'Nods head in appreciation and carries on watching.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Indy1204
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2014
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