What's a mathematician's favorite classic rock song?

Carry On My Wayward Sum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndemerson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What song do you sing when you hit someone with a really polished rock?

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth mineral

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WMino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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What's a banker's favorite rock song?

How Do I Get You A Loan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/braxistExtremist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
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The hit Sisyphus Starship song: We Built This City on Rocks that Roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asajz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2017
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I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I carry a stone with me to throw at anyone who sings Christmas carols before Thanksgiving.

It is my jingle bell rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Is "Africa" by Toto a country song?

No, it's a continent song.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicholas_caged
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trick2Gesus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2016
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A friend was lamenting that "Take Me To Church" was playing at her son's rollerskating birthday party...

She thought the song was too sad for rollerskating. I completely agreed and said there should definitely be a separation of church and skate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martyz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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I'm Deaf, I teach sign language, and I hadn't heard this Helen Keller joke before.

(Technically I haven't heard any joke before, but...)

I was telling my dad about tactile sign, which is what deafblind people use to communicate. It is like signing condensed ASL with someone's hands on yours, and it is what I plan on specializing in when I am a Certified Deaf Interpreter. He brought up Helen Keller and the conversation went as follows.

Dad: "But how many people can really do that? How many people could really communicate with Helen Keller?"

Me: "Well-"

Dad: "PROBABLY JUST A HANDFUL!"

I'm borderline convinced he deafened me as an infant in hopes that someday the set up for this joke would present itself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haydenkristal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
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[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled β€œTubaChristmas in July,” which had β€œHallelujah” by Pentatonix, β€œCarol of the Bells,” β€œYou’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and β€œHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have β€œBohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, β€œPaint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, β€œLivin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, β€œDon’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Leo_1110
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I was sitting in traffic this morning when I noticed the guy in the car next to me was playing an electric guitar.

On the other side was someone doing the same, and behind me was a person on a full drum kit. In the car in front was a guy with a mic screaming out some kind of song. None of the cars were moving, they were all just rocking out playing music. It was at that moment that I realised I was stuck in the middle of a traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chimpocalypse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Just got dad joked by my 7 year old son.

Driving in the car, he wants fast music, I change from rock to pop and start slightly pumping the brakes to the beat of the song.

"Wow, nice brake dancing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kutNpaste
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
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Got dadjoked at a concert last night

So Colin Hay (from Men at Work) is on stage singing some great songs. Just him and a guitar. Someone yells "You fucking rock!"

Colin Hay responds "Tonight I'm doing more folking than rocking. I will folk you hard."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingSaucered
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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Come on, step right up, and Guess Who Tim Horton Hears! Tim Horton's Hears A Who? Oh, I'm sorry, but you're wrong.

Tim Horton's should play music by The Who and The Guess Who. Whenever someone is asked "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", especially to younger people that don't listen to classic rock, they might not know. You can tell them, in a real coy (not Real McCoy) manner, that it is what Horton hears in the Dr. Seuss books. If they guess correctly, they could win a prize. If not, tell them either to really "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", and see if they catch on.

*The idea for this is from listening to all the times my dad would make us Guess Who was playing the song in the car or he would say Who is playing this song right now and we would guess incorrectly until we caught on. It's a long running dad joke, so you better catch it before it takes off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPurity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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Just dad-joked my boss, and I'm pretty darned proud of myself.

We have the old-rock radio station playing in our office and I was mockingly humming along to the tunes of one of the songs.

Then my supervisor says, "Oh I know you are not making fun of Def Leppard."

"It's not like they would be able to hear me if I was." I replied.

No one laughed, but the manager walked out of his office to say, "Come on guys, you have to admit that one was good."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harasoluka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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Was driving with my dad today...

I was in the car with my dad today and a 70's/80's rock song came on.

"Is this Boston?"

"No. This is (town we were driving in)."

Rock on, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Al_Capownage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Greatest album ever. The Dad rock EP

I came across this song called "The Bus is Late" and while looking up the artist Satellite High I came across this AMAZING album: http://satellitehigh.bandcamp.com/album/the-dad-rock-ep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x9x9x9x9x9
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2014
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