Because he recognized her right to bare arms.
I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.
When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.
The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.
Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.
After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.
Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.
Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!
I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instruments—but it sure might be sheep or goat.
Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.
I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.
I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????
So I fucking called the museum
got the guy who interviewed me on the line—and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?
He said, yes, BUT.......
"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."
...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
“Thank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”
He’s all right wing.
My girlfriend and I are starting our food truck next year and we have been trying to come up with a great name for the truck. We are looking to make it a Pun hence the hopeful help of the Sub-Reddit. We will be serving chicken wings with a bunch of different sauce recipes and all we've really come up with so far is 'Lord of the Wings' but I was wondering if the creative minds of the internet could think of something better.
I'm not sure if I'm breaking any rules here or not, I just thought what better place to find the answer than here? Thanks!
lecture about US political culture
Prof: You guys like magic
Class: Yeah!
Prof: Okay I need a volunteer
I raised my hand so he picked me
Prof: Okay pull out a dollar bill and point out the wings of the bald eagle
I do
Prof: Okay I want you to fold the bill 3 times long ways then hand it to me
i fold it then hand it to him
Prof: You can still see the wings right? okay I am now going to fold it sideways into 3rds then I want you to hold out 3 fingers with your palm up
he places the folded bill onto my fingers with the center third flat on my hand
Prof: now say wing 3 times
Me: Wing wing wing
prof picks up the bill and holds it up to his ear
Prof: Hello?? This is Professor Frank, who is this?
The whole class couldn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes xD
I was talking to a friend on Skype; at one point, I realised that I had to go to the bathroom.
"I'll be right back, I have to pee," I said.
"All right sure," she replied.
When I left, I put my laptop on the floor, the screen facing upwards, so as to avoid the ventilator being drowned by my duvet.
When I returned, I realised the webcam was pointing toward the ceiling, and I asked her:
"Did you find my ceiling interesting?"'
"Nah, I was looking at something else,"
And then, I saw my chance. It was glorious. Like golden wings borne on scarlet sunlight had brought me to Enlightenment, and I instantly replied with what is perhaps my greatest feat of pun yet:
"You know, that really hurts my ceilings."
Damn right-wing Evangelionists.
It’s a vast right wing conspiracy
My dad while eating wings: "man, I've never had buffalo wings before."
Me: "what? your eating some buffalo wings right now...."
Dad: "no these are chicken wings you idiot. I've never had buffalo wings before..."
Me: "We're gonna get an appetizer of wings to split with each other"
Her: "Ok what else?"
Me: "To eat I'll have the Hot Mess burger"
Her: "So you're not gonna eat the wings?"
Walked right into that one
we picked up pizza and wings for dinner tonight, and my dad had some questions about the wings.
Dad:"I thought we got buffalo wings."
Me:"No, we ended up getting the barbecue wings."
Dad:"Right, barbecue buffalo wings."
Me:"The girl at the pizza place gave us a choice of barbecue, buffalo, or rotisserie."
Dad:"Oh, so these aren't buffalo wings?"
Me:"No."
Dad:"No wonder they're so small." walks away laughing up a storm
