This fly flew right up to my face and told me she was thirsty. So you know what I did?

Ice Water

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EighthOctave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2022
🚨︎ report
Me to my son, driving in the car: "you know I'm on crack, right?"

"I'm sitting on my butt crack ya know."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toforama
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2022
🚨︎ report
I know times are tough for a lot of people right now. All over the planet, humanity struggles with problems that seem to never go away... just remember, you can always rest assured that at the end of the day...

... it's night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonumberplease
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife kept giving me Twix and tells me to guess right or left twix so far I’m 300-300 she wants to know how

I told her because the left one don’t taste right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wacey166
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Does anybody else already know the right answer to these things about 95% of the time?

Maybe there should be a "Dada"-base for these things...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qualekk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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Want to know why being buried right now would be good?

Because you would be six feet away from everyone

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DL14Nibba
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter just asked, "Dad, do you know what you would be if you tried to go to the north pole right now?"

An ice pop.

The dad joke is strong with this 8 year old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baikal2002
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Ya know everyone seems to hate the U.S right now, but I honestly think it’s pretty

Sick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinguiniiL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know who don’t want to be online right now?

Fish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a know it all who likes to be right always. So he has dollar bills embedded in his shoes.

He has to be on the money.

A better joke may be doable. It's left as an exercise for the reader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
You know when you see a picture of a fish, there's always another fish right next to it?

It's there for scale.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SinkSaunders
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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You can't do this to me. I know my rights!
πŸ‘︎ 726
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuxNocte
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife just hit me with one that caught me completely off guard

We’re sitting here watching a documentary about nabisco and their competitor. At the end she asked if the competitor was still in business. My response β€œI don’t know, I doubt it. To which she replied, β€œ I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles

I married the right one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piguntowed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2022
🚨︎ report
True story that happened to me today at the dentist’s office. I’ll leave this here…

The dental hygienist was flossing my teeth today and commented to me, β€œyour teeth are in there real tight.” as she wisks away at my pearly whites. Without missing a mother fuggin beat, I said, β€œyou know why they’re real tight, right? Because they’ve been together for quite some time.”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2022
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Instrument Ice Cream Puns?

Hello! I need some assistance!

My daughter’s band teacher always makes a pitch at the end of concerts for parents to treat their kids to ice cream. We want to thank him at the end of the year by making him a custom ice cream flavor from a friend who has an ice cream business.

I’m trying to think of a name for it that is a pun involving instruments. We don’t know what flavor yet so I’m really just brainstorming right now.

So please give me your best ice cream/instrument puns. :) Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissJeriMander
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2022
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So we were at dinner and I ordered a full rack of ribs

I was distracted by the thought of ripping them apart so when the waiter asked what side I wanted, I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to seem stupid so I said the right side. Everyone laughed and I realized he meant a side dish. Everyone thought I was joking because I was just showing off r/dadjokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lukiedokiepukie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
🚨︎ report
A couple is arguing. . .

A couple are arguing about whether they should cancel the picnic they had planned.

It's kind of cloudy, but the wife still wants to go because the forecast looks ok.

The husband, however, heard from their cranky old Russian neighbor Rudy that his joints were achy, and that he was certain it was going rain that day.

The couple argues for a while. The wife insists they should listen to the weather man over some crotchety old neighbor. The husband is equally insistent that the neighbor is right about this. After some back and forth, he finally turns to his wife, exasperated, and says:

Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amonkeyherder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
🚨︎ report
OK so, there's this trade publication for the hospitality industry

here's one i've been working on.

ok so there's this trade publication for the hospitality industry.

it comes out once a quarter, but just now they're doing their annual "best hotel" awards

and there's a prize for best overall, and, you know, the hilton group wins every year...

but there are also categories for boutique hotels, budget, airbnbs, etc etc

and then there's a "fun" category called "best hotel for nonhuman guests"

and loads of luxury pet care places are entering in, overpriced kennels basically, taking it really seriously...

but also ppl are sending pictures of insect hotels they've built with their kids in their back yards and stuff, it's a bit of fun.

and then this one person sends in an entry, which they say is "an overnight guesthouse for footwear"

...

and one of the judges turns to the other and says "right, this one's definitely going to win it"

the other judge says "why?"

...

...

... ...

"it's a shoe inn."

thankyouthankyou.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hjwp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
🚨︎ report
A paragraph of cooking/food based puns

Yam know, I know alot of ice food plums. I can dumpling em on you right now desprite the pickle I'm in. They're pretea cheesey but they get cheddar! There's eggndless pastabilities when it cucumbers to word plate. I doughn't meat to egg you on butter you should really try it! Just lettuce loose. Mustard up the courage to ketchup with the times and mayoby relish in the potgress of bready made humor! I know it mayo seem fishy butter you'll loaf it! I know you vegemight not carrot about puns but they're truly bratworth it! Clam on, don't be a chicken! Don't let your creams be creams! You donut know what you're mincing! Yah goatta be nuts not to try it once! I meat, water you doing right now anywaffer? Once you do, orange you be glad you tried? I'll even pear you up with someone you can make grape puns with! I'm sugar you'll be able to bake olive the amazucchini ones I'm saying right now! There'll be so much to tacobout. Though, I hope you don't have any beef. I don't think I'm stroganoff to stop boba you if you fight. I won't be able to cashew . Cerealously. Soooda...I guess you batter be ice and things will be all peachy! Oh to be a pizza the fun.. Man, I can go on but I'm dragonfruitn' this out and I avocadon't wanna come off as souper corny. So, lettuce toast to the cake world of puns and mango on like never before!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaptopArmageddon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A Jelly Bean, Skittle and an M&M go to a party

But at the door there was a sign saying no chocolate allowed. M&M hesitates.

"Hey guys, I might skip this one. I'm a chocolate. I'll catch you guys later" Skittle and Jelly Bean protest. "Nah man, you'll be fine, you're candy on the outside. Come in with us, it'll be fun!" Says his cousin Skittle. "Yeah, if anyone has a problem with you, we'll look after you" says Jelly Bean.

M&M decides he will go in, encouraged by his friends. They all have a good time, and no one mentions anything about M&M being chocolate on the inside.

The night is going well then suddenly the front door bangs open and in walks Vick and his gang of vapour drops. The party goes quiet as Vick surveys the room. His eyes stop on M&M.

"What the fuck are you doing M&M? Can't fucking read the sign? No chocolate allowed."

"But I'm candy on the outside, it's OK, right guys?" Protests M&M weakly. Jelly Bean and Skittle back off into the shadows, leaving M&M by himself.

" I think we need to teach this smart ass chocolate a fucking lesson, let's take this outside." Says Vick.

The vapor drops grab M&M and drag him outside and start beating him up, cracking his shell through to his chocolate. The gang walk away leaving M&M barely conscious on the lawn.

The next day in hospital, Jelly Bean and Skittle come to visit their friend, feeling bad for him. "Why didn't you guys stick up for me?" Asks M&M. "Man, you know Vick, there was nothing we could do, he's fucking menthol."

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellywin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
🚨︎ report
The Best Defense, Is A Good Offense

(Edit: added example of the problem at the bottom of the text)

BLUF: What are good retorts to the, "Hi [name], I'm Dad" classic?

I don't usually dabble in the dark arts of dad joke combat, but it's important to know how to defend yourself, especially on this sub.

My kids have begun to develop a calloused approach to my classic zingers and instead seek vengence, using my own spells against me now.

While I'm very proud of them for getting me with the same "Hi, I'm [name]" joke, there has to be a way to defeat it. Plus I need to remind them, that such power is not theirs to wield.

Dads of Reddit, what should I say back when they get me?

---EXAMPLE (True story)---

Me: No, we'll play that tomorrow. It's too late and I'm really tired right now.

Child: Hi really tired right now, I'm [name]

Me: Stunned yet proud silence <-- fix this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exce1siur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A hunter in Montana got a knock on the door of his log cabin while he was eating his supper one evening.

Confused as to who it could be, he gets up and opens the door to find the county sheriff standing there.

'Why, hello sir,' he says, 'what can I do for ya this fine evening?'

'I'll get straight to the point,' the sheriff replies, 'I know you've been huntin' grizzlies in these here parts, and that's against the law!'

'Huh? I ain't been huntin' no grizzlies, sheriff,' the hunter replies, 'I been mainly focusin' on them deers i swear!'

The sheriff, not believing the hunter, insists on searching the cabin, with the hunter reluctantly letting him in. Upon his search, the sheriff finds multiple sets of the limbs of grizzly bears, providing all the evidence he needs to arrest the hunter.

The next day, the sheriff is approached at his desk by the hunter's lawyer as well as an FBI officer. Noting this as unusual he stands to greet them.

'I'm gonna have to ask you to let my client go,' the lawyer says.

'Why?' The sheriff stammered

The FBI agent interjects, 'You have violated the Constitution of the United States in imprisoning this hunter. The remains in his possession were all front legs of the grizzly bears, and as such, you have infringed upon his second amendment right to bear arms.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TD_KingJason
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Joke from soon-to-be-dad (very long)

Here's the background:

Before my wife and I were dating, but after we had officially met, I saw her at my regular pool hall one night. She was wearing some "worn in" jeans with all kinds of holes in the legs. At some point during the night, I approached her.

> Me: "Did you know that your jeans have holes in them?"

> Her: (confused) "Yeah..."

> Me: "Did you know that it's very distracting?"

I then walked away and proceeded to not talk to her at all the rest of the night and just let the idea simmer.

Fast forward 2.5 years >>>

We were married and expecting our first child. When we discovered she was pregnant, I thought it'd be a good idea to get our genomes checked out by 23andme to see if we were carriers of anything.

I was reading the results out to her and started with myself. I was fascinated by how perfectly I was described by the report. Almost every physical aspect was right on the money.

I then started reading her results. And it was a perfect match... for her sister. The results didn't describe my wife at all, but they did almost 100% match her (not a twin) sister. I chuckled to myself and looked at her.

> Me: Do you know what this means?

> Her: What?

> Me: Your genes have holes in them.

I consider this my crowning achievement in both dad jokes and overall pundom. I don't think I'll ever top that one.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2021
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I go to Popeye's to get the kids something to eat.

Maddie wanted the kids meal with a leg so I said β€œKids meal with the leg” and the lady says β€œWhich side?”

Me- *complete silence as I heavily contemplate such an odd decision*

β€œI guess the right side, hell I don’t know what the difference is.”

After several moments of laughter she says β€œNo hunny which side would you like to go with the leg? Potatoes or fries?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viperfour
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is walking down the street...

...and as he looks across the road he sees a man with a giant orange head. The man with the giant orange head looks over and smiles, crossing the road to speak to the other man.

"I'm so sorry, "says the first man, "I didn't mean to stare at you!" "It's absolutely fine," says the man with the giant orange head, "Happens all the time. I bet you're wondering how I got this giant orange head." "Well, yes!" replied the first man. "Well...my grandmother died recently. She had been unwell for a long time and basically raised me as my parents had died when I was very young. She raised me alone as my grandfather had died before I was born. We didn't have very much but we were happy. I loved her very much. After her funeral, it was time to clear the house as it was rented and I wanted to move on anyway. I was up in the attic going through her papers and I saw this dusty old lamp. I lifted it, gave it a little rub and there was a huge flash. When I opened my eyes there was a strange looking man. It felt like he looked into my soul. 'I am the genie of the lamp' he said, 'and I grant you three wishes' I didn't believe him at first but deep within me I knew it was true. He asked me what my first wish was and clichΓ©d as it was, I said World Peace."

"Hahaha...how did that work out?" asked the first man.

"Well, " replied the man with the giant orange head, "have you heard of any wars or riots happening in the last few days?"

"Come to think of it, " said the first man, "You're right. The news has been pretty positive! Wow! That's amazing. So what did you choose for your second wish?"

"I gave it a few minutes thought this time " smiled the man with the giant orange head, "and remembering how poor we were, I wished for an unending supply of money."

"Did it work??" asked the first man.

"It did!" replied the man with the giant orange head, "here's Β£10,000 from my pocket. Enjoy it, I've got as much as I want."

"Wow, thank you so much!" said the first man, "that's incredibly generous of you, I don't know what to say! Oh wait! What did you ask for for your third wish?"

"I wished for a giant orange head."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GothamCityCop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Insurance just called. They said the rates are being raised on my Chevy Bolt EUV due to the battery fire risk.

The conversation:

β€œYou’re raising my rates?? I’m fuming right now! Let me speak to your manager as I have some burning questions!”

  • β€œSure, fire away”

β€œHow much are you raising my rates?”

  • β€œA lot, they’re going to reach new Fahrenheits”

β€œI am heated!”

  • β€œI’m sorry sir. We will keep it as manageable as possible since you have fantastic driving history - we want you to know we view you as a real bright spark”

β€œThank you, I am de-lighted”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mutigers42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant β€œDo you have β€˜European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

β€œCertainly,” replies the assistant. β€œWould you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, β€œI'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.

"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotFunny_69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
God decided to check on humanity, so he sent an angel down to investigate..

After two weeks the angel came back and reported his findings to God. "It's not good, 95% of the population is bad and only 5% is good"

God thinks about it and decides to send a second angel just to get a different perspective. Two weeks later that angel comes back and reports the same thing. 95% bad, 5% good.

God thinks on this for a bit and decides that he has to do something. He settled on sending an email of encouragement to the 5% of the population that is good to encourage them they are on the right track and to keep up the good work.

Do you know what the email said? No? Me either, we must be part of the 95%!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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4 Nuns..

4 Nuns have sinned and are meeting with a priest for forgiveness. Priest asks first nun what she had done, she says I touched a man with my left hand. Piest says wash your hand in this holy water and you'll be cleansed. Priest asks second nun what she had done. Nun says I touched a man with my right hand. Priest says wash your hand in this holy water and you'll be cleansed. Fourth Nun asks third Nun if she could go next. Third Nun says of course but why sister. Fourth Nun says, well sister I know you have to sit in that water and I have to drink it..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PozArmy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
🚨︎ report
We need help naming some murderous cats.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sveil96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Was driving through a huge parking area with family the other day...

Kids, I just want you to know I'm going through a lot right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frago242
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
🚨︎ report
plumbing problems at the bar

A plumber walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to know what it would cost for you to take a look at our sewer line that keeps backing up," the bartender says. "Well, it would be $100 an hour if I fix it right now," the plumber replies. "Otherwise it will be two weeks until I'm free." "Okay," the bartender replies. "I'll give you a ring in two weeks," and walks off. "Why didn't you have him fix it today?" a nearby waitress asks the bartender. "It's worth waiting two weeks to see if he's going to do it for free," the bartender replies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2022
🚨︎ report
Two hungry dogs find themselves out in front of a butchers shop ...

Dog One says to his buddy: "Let's just go right in and beg for some meat."

Dog Two: "But the sign says 'No Dogs Allowed!' "

Dog One: "How would they know that we can read?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Nothing lands on that day.

I was reading this week's calendar to my high school daughter.

Me: "Easter this day, dentist this day, eye doctor that day..."

Daughter: "Nothing lands on 04/20?"

Me: "No sweetie... Everything is high on 04/20."

After begrudgingly knowing she walked right into that, she walked away saying, "So, I guess it's up in the air."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOneMDW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2022
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Storytime:

So I went on a cruise, but I don't drink. They showed movies on deck at night and you had to go to the bar to purchase popcorn. I went to the bar, and I noticed they have a bottle of Ting there. (Grapefruit soda from Jamaica for those not in the know) I've never had Ting, so I asked the bartender if I could buy a bottle. He told me no, and that it was just for mixers. I walked away a little miffed. So when I got home, I told my daughter. And she said, "Wait, so you went up to the bar, and they wouldn't sell you any what?" I walked right into it and said, "They wouldn't sell me any Ting." "At all?" She asked "No, none at all." Then she said, "If they wouldn't sell you any Ting at all, how did you walk away with the popcorn?"

Touche.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2021
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Since you all liked my first post, here's a true story

I am a construction manager, and a couple years ago my boss asked me to go meet a new subcontractor who we had never worked with before. When he arrived to the site he had a younger guy with him. He walks over and says "Hi, my name is Ron Anderson, and this is my son, Ron". I couldn't stop myself. I looked this stranger dead in the eye and said "Well, you know, two Ron's don't make a right!".

Neither he nor his son were amused. But they still did the work. Honestly, though, how many times in your life are you actually going to get the chance to say that. Carpe diem.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamcalifornia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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So I heard the guy who wrote the hokey pokey died recently...

Nice funeral and all, but they had a horrible time getting him in the casket. You know when they tried to put the right arm in....

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mindful_dodger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Foot pain

A coworker (3 years younger than me) said his right foot hurt every time he stepped down on it. I told him things like that will happen more often as he gets older. He was starting to say something about experiencing things like that, but before he could get it out I blurted out...

"Because, you know, time wounds all heels."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NetDork
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
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